Reasons » yoonmin

Chapter 6

Jimin had piled so many blankets on himself and he was still shivering. He felt so cold. He felt something what could only be described as the colour black or how people seemed to feel when their favourite fast food restaurant's ice cream machine was broken, but at least 10 times worse. That would equal to at least 10 lost ice creams to a person. Which was a lot. But Jimin didn't feel exactly happy and jolly either. And he also felt like that if he would be in the same restaurant as a customer watching this scenery, he would have to apologise. And then he'd get weird looks for it, but he'd feel a bit better about himself.

Very much better than right now. In this moment, he was enclosed in a few blankets which felt cold but pleasantly heavy, and he couldn't really figure out why it was so comfortable. Did it feel like a hug? He knew people enjoyed being close to each other (which he couldn't say a lot about). Maybe it was a natural comforter, as slowly, but surely, his small sobs seemed to go silent and his thoughts went from the darkness of his emotions to the darkness of his room. He didn't feel very tired. Or well, he did, but not in a way in which he'd fall asleep quickly. A part of him somehow wished someone would come to check on him later. Would they remember him? Would anyone remember him? Did he even exist? What was existing? Why did he even exist? He'd be better off gone, he thought, eyeing the ceiling with a dreamy look in his eyes. It would be easy. But he'd miss Taehyung.

In fact, he'd miss him too much, he calculated quickly. He wanted to hug Taehyung suddenly. A sign that he was indeed a person, still alive and still breathing. Craving for physical contact, like just another human. Or so he imagined.

He was swimming in the ocean of his thoughts when he heard some thumping outside his room and as he had waited for, with mixed feelings of fear yet some level of excitement, his doorknob was creaked open. As a ray of light hit the otherwise dark floor, he squinted his eyes, not sure if he should pretend to sleep or say something. He didn't have the time to say a single thing, though, as the door was closed as quietly as it had been opened and some soft footsteps left his door. Who had it been? And why? Maybe Yoongi had just checked if he had fallen asleep. Jimin found himself thinking about it for quite a while, but as the darkness of the room seemed to grow bigger, he left himself drift to the lands of dreams, ignoring the issues that were bothering him.

It felt like a second or two after he was awake again, slightly annoyed by the fact that he'd have to face his roommate, he'd have to do things. His first breath he had been aware of that morning had been somewhat shallow and he felt like yesterday had been a failure. Failure of a day for him. What an embarrassment had it been for him.

And now he felt very sick of himself.

He sat up on his bed and tossed his blanket aside, his feet touching the cold floor as he got up. Honestly, he wanted to stay in bed, but he knew that would just cause overthinking and worst of all - he would get nothing done during the day. Changing his pyjamas to some comfortable lounging clothes, such as sweatpants and a hoodie, he was soon ready to go face the day. In these kind of days, he had a strong urge of kicking anyone who had made up "rise and shine" or anything else as positive and morning-related. Mornings were torture. It was morning, he figured, seeing strips of light on the floor which had escaped through the curtains. Frankly speaking, he didn't care. His castle was broken.

He found his way to the door and as his hand touched the doorknob, his eyes spotted something bright red attached above it and his eyes scanned the strange thing on there, confused how he hadn't noticed something so loudly coloured in his room any earlier. It was a post-it note. He frowned and picked it up and read it, quietly murmuring the text. "Smile, it's a new day...?"

Smile? New day? He felt so embarrassed and somehow insulted. He wasn't going to smile because of a note his roommate had thought would fix everything. Biting his lower lip, he threw the door open and scrunched the note in his hand, his eyes wide with such unexpected rage and even something he'd maybe call disappointment.

Yoongi was found in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee and looking as calm as ever before his eyes were nailed to Jimin, with confusion evident in the look of his. "What's-" he uttered casually before he was stopped by the boy who looked full of something he would've thought of as anger. His eyes were drawn to the red note that Jimin brought close to him. "What's this?" Jimin demanded, scrunching his eyebrows in dislike at the other. Yoongi chuckled, becoming a little confused. "What? I-" he managed to speak, but was once again stopped by Jimin. "Why would you first embarrass me in front of Taehyung, you don't even care so don't act like you would," Jimin said with such a pace it seemed like he had been suffocating these words forever and his roommate tried to say something, but his attempt was forgotten as Jimin continued to spill out words he couldn't even understand he was actually saying out. "And then you decide to sneak into my room at night and leave these notes in there, like they would fix something, like this would fix me, like they would make me smile, like they would make me forget how you act towards me when you're drunk, how you act towards me overall, you're such a heartless person!" Jimin breathed heavily, his eyes glimmering a little as he eyed the person who looked like scum to him right now. He looked at the scrunched up piece of paper in his hands and tore it apart, throwing the pieces in front of them both, and bit his lower lip as an attempt of controlling any words that would try to escape.

His every other feeling felt like it was blinded by his anger and he swallowed, slightly trembling, planning his next move as Yoongi picked up a piece of red paper from his coffee and held it between his fingers. "This one was written by Taehyung. He wanted you to feel better. Didn't work, apparently?" Yoongi said with such unphased voice which managed to anger Jimin even more. His remorse and his guilt were covered by a stronger feeling and he turned around without saying a thing, walked away, leaving Yoongi staring at him and wondering what he should do with his now ruined coffee.

"Hey, d'ya want any coffee?" he called after Jimin but was answered with a quiet click of Jimin's door, the footsteps being louder than the door ever was.