Learning to fly

Prolouge and chapter one

Prolouge
Decision- A conclusion or resolution reached after consideration. We have been making decisions since the beginning of time. Some are very easy to make. Do you want to go out with your friends? What book do you want to read next? Both seem fairly easy choices to make. While some of them are almost impossible to make. What college do I want to go to? Am I actually in love with him? Luckily for me I don't face that first hard decision I named. It is now 3024 and no one goes to college anymore; not that I have a problem with that. I feel like my decisions have gotten a lot harder than most people face. Do I leave my family forever or stay? Do I shoot this man or let him go free? Can I actually lead a revolution? Of course through all of this I have a basic hard decision to make. Am I actually in love with this Men? You would think that I'd have much bigger problems, and I obviously do. Love conquers all, so could falling  in love with him conquer this? Everyone faces their own  battle. You will not find one person that has not made a hard decision. At some point everyone has to make a hard decision in life, my hard decision just seemed a lot tougher than most.

           Chapter One

I woke up to my alarm going off the same way I've always woken up. "Raven" my mom called softly "get up it is time for school." By school she means them teaching me for three hours and then learning to clean and cook for my arranged marriage. At least that's what my brother chose, and he is happy now. I don't know if I could be happy. I've always been the different one in my family, Why should my marriage have to be arranged. All of my family has the same answer "It's just the done thing" "Stop asking questions that no one has answers to." What if I want those answers though, I can't just be expected to marry someone I hate. There is another option though, and it's dumb and I know it's not a good idea at all, but it is an option. I could leave, when you turn eighteen you get the option of leaving your family. I turned Eighteen in December it is now July. I get to choose on August 22.

The only person in my family that has ever chosen to leave is my Aunt Mariel. We don't know what happened to her, once you leave your family you're pretty much disowned. We're not even allowed to talk about her. She was my mom's sister but we're not allowed to bring that up. Obviously the safer option would be to stay, I mean an arranged marriage can't be that bad. But I have this strange feeling that I don't belong here everyone else doesn't ask the questions I ask. Don't get me wrong I love my family but enough to stay. Enough to be forced into a marriage with a man I might not love. My brothers wife ended up being perfect for him. She never questions him always does exactly what he asked her too and most of all she didn't question the marriage. No matter how hard I try I won't be perfect. Trust me I've tried there is always something that ruins it. It's a hard decision to make I could stay and never be happy and always feel stuck. I could leave, I have absolutely no idea what would happen if I decided to leave. Pretty much anything could. On the bright side of things I could leave find true love and true friends and never regret leaving my family. On the dark side though I could leave get stolen or shot or stabbed get used by someone I thought loved me. That's the risk you take with leaving the only way you know what happens is if you leave. My kids would also have to suffer if I leave. They'd get the choice when they're eighteen to come back to society but I don't know what kind of life I would be choosing for them.

That is where the problem lies this decision isn't just mine to make. My brother and I have always been really close, how would he take it if I decided to leave. I don't want him to feel like he could have done anything, because if I do decide to leave I am scared to death he will blame himself. The decision itself lies in me. I do not want my brother to just forget me like my mom has forgot her sister. What about my dad, how would he take me leaving. I have always been the closest to him. Nicknames are not really allowed here, as so many people tell me "it's not the done thing." My dad's never cared much for the rules though, I'm his little bird. He has always told me to follow my own dreams. My dad would be just fine if I left. My mom would not be though. She is a huge stickler for rules, considering her sister never followed them and we see where that got her. My mom has told me multiple times in the last few weeks that the dumbest thing I could ever do was leave society. How would she know though, she didn't decide to leave society. I just wish I could have a conversation with someone that left, maybe then I would actually know what decision is the best for me. This isn't a decision I can just take back. Every eighteen year old gets one time, gets one choice, society will either welcome me with open arms or I could choose to be kicked out. It seems dumb when you put it that way, who wouldn't stay? At least I'd still know people if I stayed.

It is a day before I choose. I think my dad knows what my choice is. It seems like he approves, I can't even look my mother in her eyes. My brother pulled me aside yesterday and talked to me "Raven, I know you think I'm pulling you aside to talk you out of this, but I'm not. My little sister you were never meant to stay, that's why dad named you after a bird.You have to learn how to fly, and I know now I don't get to be by your side but hold me in your heart where I will hold you and we will never be too far apart." At least I know my brother will not hate me. I hate the fact that I have to leave them, but it's not like I have much of a choice. If only leaving didn't require leaving everyone. It is not much of a loss to loose my mom, she has never approved of anything I did anyways. She is one of my main reasons for leaving, I can not live up to everything she thinks I can. For her no matter what I did nothing was enough. Truthfully I feel like she's always known I would leave, just like everybody else except me. How did Caleb know I was going to leave, I barely know if I am leaving. It does not seem fair to me that he has figured out, but at least he approves.

My family is having a good time tonight, this is the last time we will ever be all together. We're all getting along, except for my mom, and I. The night before you choose you're able to stay up later then the society normally allows. This is what I will miss most of all. This time when we are just in the sitting room, joking around. The clock strikes twelve midnight, my mom sends Caleb and Tori home and me upstairs. I get into my night clothes, and then my daddy knocks on my door. "Can we talk Rave," my dad asked standing in the arch of my doorway. "Of course Daddy what do you need," I told him. My Dad comes into my room and shuts my door. He comes in and sits on my bed and stares into my eyes. "My little bird, I always knew this day would come. I am sad to see that it is here. There was always something that set you apart from the crowd. You've tried though. You've tried to fit into society's version of normal. You've tried to follow the crowd until you got lost in it. You can not blend in when you were born to set apart. It was never your fault. I love you and don't forget that. It is okay to leave me behind just don't forget, While your wings will fly you far far away from our home you will have a place in my heart forever. Find your Aunt Muriel and learn to fly. I hope you find love and friendship and I hope it's everything you have always wished. Fly high my little bird fly high." He leaves after tucking me in and kissing my forehead. Why, why can I not find it in myself to stay. I want to stay, I really do, but I can't. This society wasn't born for people like me. I fell asleep with tears running down my cheeks, wishing I could find it in myself to stay but never being able too.