Learning to fly

Chapter Four

I stay put not because he told me to; because maybe I am a little curious of what he has to say. He walks toward the door. He locks it and turns on his heel. "Who are you," I look up shockingly. That was said pretty gently for him. "What do you mean, who am I." I am very confused on what he means. "I mean exactly that who are you, how do you know all this stuff? Most importantly do you already know how to do all of this because if you know how to shoot a gun you probably know how to fight too." He says all of this without his commanding tone; when I actually think about it he says it almost timidly, like he is scared of my answer to him. "I'm Raven Jennings. My parents were Robert and Caroline Jennings. My dad came from out here but chose to come back to society. Yes, I already know how to do all of this stuff, but I could use a refresher." I say this all in a gentle tone without my usual attitude because for some reason right now I don't think it's the right answer. "Robert Jennings was one of the bravest man I ever knew. It would make since  that you of all people are his daughter." I look up shocked. He knows my father. He knew my father before he left. "You knew my father before he left. You don't seem that old." I press my lips together. I didn't mean for that last part to come out. He let out a breathy chuckle, and I am surprised at how much I like his laugh. "I'm only twenty, little girl, but my dad was as close as you can get to a brother without actually being related. I have heard many stories about how brave and selfless and smart your dad was. I guess now it makes since for you to know all of this." He finishes looking around; I nod at that. Maybe I will find a connection to my family here. "Is your dad still here? Do you think he would answer any of my questions?" I see him look down and tighten his hands into fists. "No he's dead now; but if you really want to know I can probably tell you a few stories." I put my hand to my chest. I can't even imagine, I guess now I do have to imagine. I'll never see my dad again anyways.

"You never answered my question from earlier." I said deftly changing the subject. I sit down knowing we were going to be here for a little bit. He sits down following my lead, "What question?" I can see him searching his head for the answer. "Why do we need to know how to defend ourselves," I ask again knowing he legitimately forgot. I see him flinch and shake his head "Next question" he tries and now I know something is wrong. "No, I want this question answered. Please." He sighs and shakes his head and then answers "I will tell you but you can't tell your friends yet. They aren't ready to know." I nod my head, but have a million thoughts racing through my mind. Why wouldn't my friends be prepared to hear it? "When you chose, I don't know if you noticed it, there was a little prick on your finger". I nod my head so maybe I wasn't imagining things. "It was the government, they prick our fingers to make sure they know how many people choose to leave society and they keep a count on how many people they still have. They are after us because we are different, and we are training you to be able to survive. This life outside of society isn't easy, but it's better than being chained down in a world, you'll never fit into." I take it all in. Shocked, I can't believe it. I can't even imagine. Why were we not told, not that I would have chosen differently. He looks at me in my eyes this is a lot to take in. This is how we survive, this is why I need to know how to shoot a gun. "Are you serious so what are we supposed to do. Kill them or be killed. Will I have blood on my hands by the time I come out of this?" I am close to having a panic attack. I can't kill someone. I might look strong but that would break me. There is not many things I can say that about, but I know I just know that I wouldn't come out of that the same. Blaze's eyes widen with shock at my reaction he sits up and walks towards me slowly, like I am some kind of rabid animal. He comes towards me and lowers his hands on my shoulders slowly "Rave breathe with me just breathe. In two three four. Out two three four. And in...." He repeats himself until I am finally calm."Are you okay now," he asks in a soothing voice making sure I am not going to freak out again. I nod slowly, just now noticing how close our faces are.

He leans back slowly on his heels and nods slowly staring deeply into my eyes. "I am serious, this is sadly the life you chose. The government are monsters. They don't approve of anything we do. With some of them it's shot or be shot and I learned that the hard way." He is now sitting down again but he didn't move back, and I can feel his hand resting only centimeters away from my knees. It is like I am hyper aware of every single move he makes. "What do you mean you learned that the hard way?" I asks his last sentence playing back in my head. He looks up and I can see that he is fighting tears back. I reach out for his hands and connect ours and start rubbing my thumb over his. He takes a deep breath before answering me, "In my eighteen years of life and six years of fighting, once you turn twelve you're expected to defend yourself. I flinched once, I was only thirteen at the time, all I could think was there had to be a better way. I was only thirteen I didn't know I was expected to actually kill him, if only I had known and I would've done it in a heartbeat. I flinched and because of that one of the government soldiers was able to get their shot out first. My dad jumped in front of me, he's the only reason the bullet didn't hit me. But that day I lost the best man I would ever know just because I had to flinch." By the time he finished he had only shed a single tear. He is much stronger than I am; if I was him I would never get through that story. "Oh... Blaze I can't even-"   I shake my head in wonder. "No,  don't pity me. I didn't tell you that story to get your pity. I told you that story so you would know you can't flinch. You can not even think about shooting because they won't care. Our whole world that chooses to leave is different and they don't like different.  They won't flinch. They won't even think before they shoot and neither should you." As he is saying all of this he is leaning closer and closer.

I can feel his breath fanning all over my face. I close my eyes and I don't think, I just do. I kiss him. I feel his arms wrap around my waist as he brings me closer and kisses me slowly. My first kiss is something that I had always imagined I would hate and it would be with someone that I was forced to love. But that's not the case. This kiss is slow and passionate. It's actually someone that I might just be getting feelings for. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss.

We pull apart from each other slowly. I open my eyes slowly; like this perfect moment wouldn't be here when they opened. But the moment is still here, I didn't imagine it, that was my first kiss. I smiled softly as I leaned away from him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, we just met. I'm really sorry." He is rubbing the back of his neck, a little bit embarrassed. "Don't apologize, I think I liked it." I say laughing a little. "You think you like it," he says laughing at my wording. Now it's my turn to be embarrassed, I look down blushing a little. "I know we just met, but I feel some kind of connection." He nods as if he is agreeing with me. "Your friends can't know, no one can. They will think I am giving you special treatment, and trust me around here that's the last thing you want." I nod my head shocked at what he is saying but nonetheless agreeing. "It is time for you to go, if anyone asks why you had to stick behind tell them I made you run laps for giving me your attitude earlier." I nod my head again and slip out of the door. I check the time on my watch, I am starving and it looks like it is almost time for dinner. Dinner sounds amazing except for the small fact that I have no idea where I go to get it. I double back to the training room. "So do you guys actually feed us here or are we expected to starve?" I say with my normal spark back. He raises his head towards me and shakes his head, "Maybe I will let you starve, if you keep talking to me like that," I look dead in his eyes you should never threaten a girl's food. "You would let your best trainee die of starvation just because of her attitude." Blaze eyes widen in shock and I see a smirk make its way on his face. "You aren't Michale." I roll my eyes at him but follow him to the cafeteria.