I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm alone. I've only slept a few hours and as soon as I'm fully awake, my mind races once again. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep so I turn on the lamp on the nightstand then get up to grab my journal and a pen.
I sit back on my bed and begin to write. I write about everything that's happened since I've left Los Angeles. I have to stop a few times because my tears cloud my vision.
When I'm done, I place my journal inside my drawer then lay back down and just lay awake until it's time to get ready for the day.
Sometime later, I look at the clock; it's 7 am. My parents should be getting up soon. I usually sleep late but with everything going on, I cannot sleep any longer.
I get up from my bed and grab some clean clothes then I walk to bathroom to take a shower. The warm water feels good against my skin and I relish the feeling. But of course once again, I am sobbing. I slump to floor of the shower and pull my knees against my chest. Well, I have to get used to this as I will probably be a crying mess for a while.
I don't know how long I stay curled in a ball but by the time I notice, the water has gone cold. I shiver a little then shut the water off. I quickly grab a towel to dry off then get into warm clothes.
After I'm fully clothed, I'm not cold anymore. I then get to work on my hair and decide not to put any make up on; I just don't have it in me.
As walk past my parents bedroom, I can hear them getting ready themselves. I rush to the kitchen so I can surprise them with breakfast. I put on a pot of coffee to start brewing then I get all the ingredients I need.
Breakfast is almost ready when my mother walks into the kitchen followed by my father. They hug me then my mother says. "Teedee, you didn't have to do this. I could have cooked for you."
"But I wanted to mama." I say with small smile.
I serve them each a plate then place their plates in front of them and sit down with just a cup of coffee. My mother scolds me because she knows I haven't eaten in a while. She gets up and makes me a plate against my protest. I thank her then I dig in. I eat my whole plate, I guess I was hungry after all.
Mom volunteered to wash dishes as daddy and I had to get going to make it to the lawyers office. When we get there, I take deep breath then get out of the car.
An hour or so later, the papers have been filed and I signed them already. Now they need to be sent to Lindsey and who knows what his reaction is going to be. I just hope he sees that I can't be married to him any longer and that he signs the papers. I just want this to be over and done with.
I didn't ask Lindsey for anything; I don't want anything from him and all I asked was that he send me my belongings to my parents home as soon as he could.
When we get back home, I walk into the house and hear talking coming from the kitchen. I walk into the kitchen and I am happy to see the person speaking to my mom.
My best friend Christine Mcvie is sitting at the kitchen table with my mom having a cup of tea.
I smile wide and walk towards her; she stands up and gives me a hug.
Christine has been my best friend since we were little girls. She and her parents moved to Phoenix from England when she was just a little girl and had moved into the house next door. We have been through a lot together growing up and now have kept in touch. When we have our weekly talks over the phone of course I don't tell her anything of what's been going on with me and Lindsey. As far as she knows, Lindsey and I have the perfect marriage.
"Stevie! It's so good to see you!" Christine says then pulls away from our hug.
"It's good to see you too!" I reply. My eyes then go to the baby in her arms. My heart gives a squeeze; it always does when I see a baby. But I push my feelings aside and said. "Is this Victoria Rose?" I gently stroke the baby's chubby cheek and smile at her.
