Strings

Heart Of Dust

“Ms. Cassidy, do you know the answer?” Mrs. Reinhardt asks.
I shake my head. “No, sorry.” I mutter.
I rarely know the answer when I’m called on. I’m not a bad student or anything, actually my grades are pretty good, I just have a tendency not to understand when a teacher explains something in class. So I take notes and go over them at home.
“You should know this.” Mrs. Reinhardt sighs.
The bell rings and almost everyone stands up at once. I shove my notebook into my backpack and push my way out of the classroom. I start towards the door of the school, Leo and I always meet outside the school.
“Hey.” Leo says, catching sight of me. “Want to head over to Bella’s?” He asks. Bella’s is a popular bakery in town. Leo’s pretty convinced they have the best cinnamon rolls ever.
“Sure.” I say, smiling.
The bakery is a warm and homey place. Flooded with yellow light from the big windows, music playing softly in the background of all the chatter and laughter. We both get cinnamon rolls and find a seat in a corner near one of the big windows.
“Fine.” I say.
“What?” Leo asks, cinnamon roll half way to his mouth.
“Fine, I’ll go as the Doctor and the TARDIS.” I say, smiling a little.
“Yes!” Leo says, punching the air in triumph. “I knew you’d cave!”
“But I want to be the TARDIS.” I say.
“Fine with me, I want to be the Doctor.” He says, grinning and taking a big bite of his cinnamon roll.
“Oh hey, guess what.” Leo says.
“What?” I ask.
“You know Cadence Thompson?” Leo asks.
I nod.
“She asked me out.” Leo says.
“Nice.” I choke out, through the feeling of my heart breaking. That’s the thing about Leo, he can break my heart, even though it’s not whole to start with.
“Yeah, she’s pretty cute. I take it you would’ve told me if we had a string.” Leo says.
I nod again. “No string.” I say. “What’d you say?” I ask, and I feel my heart break into a few more pieces.
“I said yes.” Leo says, shrugging. “We’re going to the dance on Friday.”
The Halloween dance. I know we’ll dress up in our costume together, but it’s like a wall has been placed between us. I think that if I didn’t see the strings I would’ve asked Leo out by now, or maybe I would still be as scared to as I am now. He doesn’t know it but the strings ruin a lot. Knowing that I probably wont end up with Leo is beyond painful, if I didn’t have them my heart might get broken but it couldn’t break my heart anymore than it’s already broken.
“Nice.” I say, nodding, even though I can feel my heart fall apart just a little more, how is it not completely dust now?
“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome, smart, funny, pretty.” Leo says, blushing slightly at the last word.
“I don’t quite know how to respond to that.” I say, forcing a smile.
I wonder for just a moment, if he thinks I’m pretty. I study my reflection in the large window. Long dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, pink lips, my nose is kinda small.
“Something wrong?” Leo asks, finishing off his cinnamon roll.
I shake my head. “No, I’m just tired.”
Leo nods understandably and smiles. And that, something as simple as a smile makes me want to crumble, just fall into his arms. It makes me wish the strings didn’t exist.