The sun and the shadow [Black Butler]

Ciel's P.O.V

"Wake up Ciel, it's morning already," my lover kissed me on the lips once before pulling the curtains apart and handing me a cup of tea."For today's breakfast, we have smoked salmon with scones."

"My favorite," I thought out loud, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

I wanted to know why would he take the bother of making my favorite breakfast and favorite tea all of the sudden. Of course, Sebastian knew exactly what I was thinking, like always (Really sometimes I think he can read my mind! I thought suppressing a shiver at the simple thought. That would really be scary.), and answered my unasked question.

"You have this date circled on your calendar and I've noticed you've to wait for this day impatiently." I froze at his words, but he was collecting the clothes that had ripped apart and thrown everywhere from last night's activities, so he didn't notice. "May I know what is the importance of today? As it is the first time we celebrated it in the three years I've been by your side, it isn't any kind of anniversary. So what is it?" He finally turned around. This time he was the one frozen, all the clothes he had gathered fell on the floor. "Ciel?" He asked me worriedly and rushed to my side. "Why are you crying?"

I only noticed then, that tears were falling from my left eye. Sebastian tried to wipe them away but he only got his hand slapped away by me. Hurt and confusion flashed on his eyes but soon disappeared leaving only an expressionless façade. Making me wonder if I had only imagined it.

"It is... it is nothing Sebastian," I replied looking at my lap, hiding as much pain as I could. "Sorry... for slapping your hand away."

"Ciel..." He murmured under his breath, looking at me astonished. Surely shocked by my apology. But only for today, I'll be a good person... if only to honor her name. "Would you like breakfast now? Or after a bath?"

"After a bath," I answered quickly, not having much appetite this morning. Even if it was my favorite breakfast.

"Then enjoy your tea as I prepare the tub for you," Sebastian told me before leaving towards the bathroom.

When he was gone I wiped my tears away and headed towards the window. I surveyed my grounds, decorated by a beautiful garden, and thought: She would have loved this place... this garden especially.

Looking up at the sun I clenched my fists fighting new tears that tried to free themselves from my eyes because I've never cried. Not once since I made the deal with Sebastian, not until... now.

I am so sorry, I failed you dearly. I wasn't able to save you, I thought miserably.

I was snapped out of my trance by Sebastian, who was calling me for my bath. I took a calming and steady breath, before turning around and heading towards him- seeking comfort in my lover's arms but not giving any reason for why I needed it. As the good butler Sebastian was, he didn't ask.

Later that day we all left to shop downtown, by all I mean: Sebastian, Snake, Tanaka, Finnian, Mey-Rin, Baldroy, and me. I bought Mey-Rin a pair of new glasses, a straw hat for Finnian, a big bag for Snake, candy cigarettes for Baldroy, and a Japanese tea set for Tanaka. I even gave my sweets to poor starving homeless children I found on the streets. I've never been contemplated with so much admiration before, not counting Lizzy and my servants.

"Would you like something as well Sebastian?" I asked my butler, as we watched the rest of the group laugh and chat happily in front of us.

"Nothing young master," he replied with a tight tone. "Thank you for your kindness," now his tone was accusatory and I knew why.

Since the big scene, I made this morning he had kept his eyes on me, judging every movement I did during the day. Stiffing and glaring, discreetly, each time I did a good gesture, each time I showed kindness.

"It is just for today Sebastian," I said, my gaze still fixed on my servants. "Just one day of walking on the light... the rest I'll be submerged in darkness. Don't worry."

"You never needed a day on the light," he hissed angrily and looked at me with something akin to disgust. A look that was like a bucket of cold water to my stomach. "You turned your back to the light without even thinking once and marched at a rapid pace towards the abysm of darkness. Why do you..." He couldn't finish his phrase cause I cut him off angrily.

"It is none of your business!" I caught a few strange stares from passers-by and my servants, and a shocked one from my butler. I've been getting a lot of those today. I sighed tiredly. "Sebastian I order you to stay here and make sure that they..." I pointed at my four troublemakers' servants. "... don't destroy anything and don't make any mess."

I turned around on my heels and begin walking, only to stop when I heard Finnian call my name: "Master Ciel! Where are you going?" He ran to my side and looked at me with big eyes, like a lost puppy whose owner was leaving. Though, I think that this case is at least a bit similar.

I knew that I didn't have to answer but I did anyway. Maybe Sebastian might understand my strange behavior without having to speak about it literally.

"I am going to Undertaker's shop, I need to order a stone," when the words left my lips, the atmosphere changed and everyone looked at me with sad eyes and worried expressions. By Sebastian's look, I knew that he understood what was going on but still was confused about why I suddenly started acting like this. When I didn't, when my own aunt died. "Stay here!" I ordered Finnian, but they all knew that I was speaking for everyone.

I ignored their calls of 'Master' and started heading towards Undertaker's shop.

"Earl!" He greeted me in his usual creepy way. "Are you here finally to try my coffin made especially for you? Or maybe some information about something for the queen? Unluckily there is nothing I can help you with. Where is that funny butler of yours?"

"I am here for your shop's services," at my words he turned serious. I was surprised that was even a possibility, but at least he stopped being his comedian self. "I want you to make a stone with a fairy drawing on it, and put it on the Phantomhive's private cemetery."

"A stone with a fairy drawing? You are asking for something really strange Earl," he commented out loud, sounding very interested. "You are asking for me to make a stone, but what about the body?"

"There is none," I replied, refusing to go into details.

"Then what name shall I write on it?" He asked me.

"You shall write the name of..." I couldn't finish my sentence when the shop's door slammed open. I turned around ready to glare at the new person but stood frozen when I noticed who was standing there. "Impossible," I gasped, not believing what my eye was seeing.

"Ciel?" The kindest voice I've ever heard in my entire life, a voice I thought I'd never heard again called out for me. "Is that really you?"

"Yes," a smile took place on my lips. A true one, a kind of smile I only ever gave Sebastian ever since I got out of that hell. "It's me."

Suddenly I had my arms full of a petite blue-haired girl. A girl who hugged me as her life depended on it and I hugged her back just like that.

"I missed you, Ciel," she murmured warmly in my ear. From her tone, it was clear that she was at the edge of tears.

"I missed you too... Levy."