All of Me

Chapter 2: The New Boy

I had always wanted to be a movie actress. I spent everyday looking up monologues for fun and researching acting agents. I never wanted to fall in love because I was always afraid that love would get in the way of my life-long acting aspirations. I didn't want a relationship tying me down. Isn't it so interesting how love has a way of sneaking up on people when they least expect it, and oftentimes, least want it?

I had never heard the name Jonathan Fowler until that April day during my eighth grade year in 2012. I had attended the same, tiny, classical, Christian, private school since pre-school. I had grown up with the same few kids for the past ten years at that school. My class's average size was about twenty kids. It is safe to say that we were all ready for someone new to join the group. It finally happened that day. Or at least, a new kid visited that day. He was supposed to join our class officially that upcoming August for ninth grade.

As I was walking down the hall to my next class that day, I saw a group of girls in my grade all huddled together, laughing and squealing about something, as girls always do, usually about boys. This time was no different. As I joined the group, it was easy to quickly figure out what they were all freaking out about.

There was a new boy... A CUTE BOY... touring our school, and he was going to be in our class next year! I know I was trying to avoid thinking about boys during that time, but after all, I am still a girl. Cute boy?! Where? I looked around and saw him walking down the hall with the teacher who was giving him his tour. He was tall, with very dark brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a burgundy polo and khakis. Oh good grief. I was already weak. HE IS PERFECT. I tried to keep my composure, unlike all the other girls. They kept squealing and whispering and staring, acting completely insane and obsessed.

I try to not be like "most girls." I completely restrained myself from showing my real feelings and acted completely indifferent about the whole thing.

"Y'all are crazy. He is just a boy! No need to freak out so much!" I laughed. I knew exactly why they were freaking out, and I actually didn't blame them. I acted like they were silly girls for acting so ridiculously, though. You could tell that every single other boy in our class was mad. They were all in a group together in a corner, obviously talking about how annoying we girls were for making such a fuss over this new boy. They were all just jealous.

The new boy sat and watched my Latin class for a few minutes. We were reviewing how to count to one hundred. He then left my class to continue with his tour, and that was the last time we would see him for a while. When he left the school after his tour that day, the girls rushed to the teacher who had given him his tour, bombarding her with questions. We found out that his name was Jonathan Fowler and he was currently in the eighth grade at Montevallo Middle School.

Of course I went home right after school and looked him up on Facebook. I wasn't being creepy about it, but it had been far too long since there was a cute, mysterious boy in our class. I looked through a few of his pictures, but didn't actually request him to be my friend because I thought that'd be far too creepy. So after I had done all the social media stalking that I could do, I got off Facebook and decided that I would just forget about Jonathan Fowler until August came.

A few days later, I got a friend request on Facebook. It was from Jonathan Fowler. How did he find me, let alone even know who I am? This was amazing. We shared a pretty brief conversation on Facebook. I asked him if he was ready to come to our school, and he told me he is and he can't wait to get out of public school. We talked for just a little bit longer before the conversation ended. There would be no further communication between Jonathan and me until that August.

Meanwhile, during the summer of 2012, I went on a mission trip with my church to Belize for a week, and I also signed up for AMTC: Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ. This meant that I would attend acting classes once a month until the SHINE AMTC event in Orlando, Florida, where I would perform for acting agents from all over the country. I guess this new boy had fallen back into the shadows as I had forgotten all about him for those few months. I was so focused on acting and being a kid that I never really gave him too much thought. Every now and then I'd remember him, but I would try to forget about him because I didn't want to be held back from anything because of a boy. I knew, however, that when school started back, it was inevitable that I'd gain feelings for this boy.

Unfortunately, I was very right. August finally came, and school was back in session. Looking back, I'm not sure if I want to grieve for my poor, unknowing, naive, innocent self at that time or smile and be glad that everything happened. Sometimes, it's hard to be glad about everything that happened because of that boy.

It all began during those first few weeks of my ninth grade school year. Jonathan had been messaging me on Facebook everyday, and even talking to me regularly in person. Being able to regularly have a face-to-face conversation with the boy I liked was a foreign concept to me, as my previous "boyfriend," or whatever you want to call him, since we were never technically official, was too afraid to even say hello to me in the hallway at school. I thought all boys were scared like that, but I was wrong. Jonathan made me realize that I was wrong about a lot of things in my life. This was only the first of very many.

One night, on Facebook, Jonathan told me that he likes me... as more than a friend! It's somewhat emabrrassing to recall times of such young and stupid behavior. It was like Christmas Day when a boy told you he "likes you more than a friend." I had had a few experiences with boys telling me this previously, and it felt great every time. This time was different. It didn't feel like Christmas Day for just that day, but it felt like Christmas everyday for a month. It was perfect and I was so happy, I couldn't believe it. All of those girls in my grade, including my best friend Olivia, had been desperately obsessing over him for so long, and I just waltz right into the picture and steal him from them just like that.

At that point, the horse I was on was higher than the Empire State Building. I was feeling pretty satisfied with myself. I didn't hesitate to tell Jonathan that I "like him as more than a friend too." It was great. Or at least I thought it was. I was only fourteen. Even though I thought I did, I really didn't know the first thing about boys, especially Jonathan. I had no idea what kind of roller coaster ride I had just climbed onto, with no hope of getting off again.