~KOZA DEREZA~ English edition (Joke)

Chapter One

(By the way everything I say here is actually canon, if you don't believe me look it up-)

In the fields of the Soviet Union, somewhere in Ukraine, once upon a time, a man lived in a house. And he had three children, a wife, and his favorite goat. He told his youngest child to go and walk his goat. So the child got a collar and put the goat on a leash. He went out to the fields and saw more fields. He gave the goat clear water and clean grass. When he got back, the father asked the goat, (since goats can speak now), "Goat, goat, did my youngest child feed you properly?" and that sON OF A BITCH ANSWERED WITH: "No he didn't! I had to drink from a puddle! Ate one leaf in total! He abused me! He hated me!" AND STARTED CRYING.

So the father got mad and fricking KICKED HIS SON OUT OF HIS HOUSE. (NO IT'S LITERALLY WHAT HE DId-) The goat was satisfied. So then the father asked the second son to take the goat out. The second son was really nice to the goat, fed it, gave it water, and came back. So the father asks the goat again: "Did he treat you well?" And that fucking hoe replies with: "No he didn't! I had to drink from a puddle! Eat a leaf! He abused me! He hated me!" So the father was an idiot again and kicked his son out of his house.

Well the third son and his wife got the same fate so....

The man ended up living with the goat, so he took it out into the fields. Later on, he asked it: "So! Did I treat you well?" And that goat just starts straight-up roasting him. Like Jesus Christ Soviet Union what are you teaching us? Anyways.

The man got so mad at that goat that he kicked it out into the woods.

End of Chapter one.