Our camera switched to observe our protagonist as she came into view with a bodyguard wearing a face of such pain and boredom that the camera slightly bobbed its head towards his direction out of pure sympathy, carrying a mountain of gifts for her relatives.
Glancing up from her phone, she jumped with a start at the sight of a TrashAuthor-Cam and quickly snatched a couple of presents from her bodyguard. This in turn, made him nearly lose his balance and his 'Men in Black' inspired shades fell off, screaming in agony. Yes, his shades are made of alien matter.
You must be greatly interested to know what the main character was thinking, so let us teleport directly into her brain! Zoop!
Oh man, there is so much space in here!
"Let me introduce myself," I ordered my plastic cheeks to form the most brilliant smile I could, gracing my thoughts with this heavenly sight, "For some reason, I'm a Victoria's Secret Angel while I'm still 17! Blah blah blah blah boop de doo dee dum-"
To summarize and save the reader from bleaching your eyes, I am a perfect individual, packed with money, brains and family. Basically, the human you all wish to morph into, so you are definitely not going to see flaws any time soon!
Snow fell on my luscious hair as I arrived at my parent's house, I was so excited to see my family's reaction to how much money I can use to buy Christmas presents and catch everyone's attention away from the gathering's current events! In fact, I was so excited that I could not even bother opening the door myself and let my overrated bodyguard do the dirty deed.
"I'm home!" I screamed aloud, making all of them creepily turn their heads to look at me, apparently all at the same time.
Blood dripping from their ears, they ran toward me like yellow Twinkie minions and enveloped me in suffocating layers of hugs judging by the number of people I had claimed to be here earlier on. For some reason, the presents were not even crushed by the impact.
Amongst all the bloody relatives, Marvel-shielded presents and my alien-obsessed bodyguard, I sighed happily because I was finally home.
So, standard procedures for a protagonist in a family gathering. Go to parents, friends, pretend to forget hot sibling and vaguely mention unimportant side characters like my blood-related relatives. Let's go!
"Eomma, Appa! I missed you so much!"
"We watched the Pink fashion show and you were awesome on the runway!" My fan-sounding- I mean, supportive and encouraging parents smiled and exclaimed, since no sane parent would question their child's life choices, especially as a Victoria's Secret Angel!
I simply thanked them and moved on, since I have absolutely nothing to say to the ones who took the time to produce me!
Not even releasing a grunt of surprise as I was ambushed by my two overly-hyped friends with their bear-like hugs, I nuzzled into their brown fur while screaming crudely,
"Merry Christmas bitches!"
I forgot to mention, in this fictional world, we have a holiday called Christmas bitches. Anyways, my bear friends laughed awkwardly in response as they transformed into my fellow dogs which I will be bringing along this dead-paced adventure.
"Yah! Why didn't you call us?" Finally named, Chaeyoung and Nayeon whined although I did not exactly mention anything after 'Merry Christmas bitches'.
Gosh, my best friends are shapeshifting telepaths!
Not even bothering to enter another line, I replied using their voices, "I was busy, but I'm back for a year to go to school with you idiots!"
They squealed in delight at the notion of a pristine diva such as myself attending school with them, and crushed my spine since we had hugged tighter than the bear-like hugs, which would not have been humanely possible but hey, do you see this story having any relation to real-life context?
YOU ARE READING
Ms Wrong
Humor"Please read 'ms right' by @xcl_diy before reading this, but remember to brace your eyes first!" KEEP IN MIND: this is just a parody, hope you can take some salty jokes lmao Sometimes, don't you feel an urge to see what really goes on behind the sce...
