tearing up my soul (Completed)

somethings off

Lance McClain, the 17 year old Cuban boy who is the right leg of voltron, the flirt who cat calls every female in his vasinity, you'd never think he of all people would feel so broken and defeated on the inside.

  (Lance's point of view)
I woke up feeling terrible as usual. I had an excruciating pain in my head and stomach. Of course these feelings were my new normality. My stomach was screaming at me to eat something but I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep it down. I flopped out of bed trudged over to my full length mirror.  As I looked at myself, i noticed the dark circles under my eyes and my exposed ribcage. I looked pale, even being a tan colored person my skin was a faded light brown instead of its normal warm copper tone. I walked over to my closet and grabbed my normal white t-shirt with the blue collar and my faded blue skinny jeans. My shirt looked so baggy on me now, and I had to steal one of Keith's belts to keep my jeans up. My cheekbones looked so caved in you could see a rough outline of my skull. I threw on my deep Olive jacket and slipped my clunky gray hightops on my feet. As I entered the empty hallway, the growls of my stomach were echoing off the walls. I knew I should eat I figured somebody would've asked me why I wasn't eating but no one seemed to care, not even hunk, my so called "best friend" asked about how I was doing. This just proves I'm not an important part of team voltron.

    I walked into the dining room plastering on a fake smile as I shot finger guns towards allura. "Hey, everybody so what's new ?" I said trying to lighten up the morning with some conversation. "Lance, your late, again! So I would suggest sitting down and paying attention!" Allura scolded at me in a venomous tone. It hurt, to have your friend speak to you that way, but I shrugged it off. "Whatever" I said with an emotionless tone. "Lance there's no time for your shananagins today! We have to focus on locating a galra base just off the orbit of Kerberos." Shiro, my hero since I started at the garrison, called me making conversation just shananagins? I was at a loss for words I couldn't respond so I just stood there with my arms crossed turned around from the group. "Lance, look we know you're trying to be "nice" but we have priorities ok?" I didn't face pidge when she said this I stayed turned around and looked at my shoes trying not to cry. Keith came up to me and grabbed my shoulder. "Hey, lance?" Could this really be happening? Keith of all people being nice? "Pay attention! " Of course not why would anyone be nice to me? Keith turned me around and stared at my face just then, his expression changed from an angry glare to a concerned, wide eyed expression. "Lance? Are you ok?" I was confused by Keith's question, like I wasn't ok but I'm not just gonna blurt out all that's wrong with me and my terrible life. "W...what do you...mean keith?" I stuttered nervously. "Have you been getting enough sleep, ?" Keith's eyes moved from my face to my mid section, "have, you been... eating at all!?" Keith looked genuinely concerned for me I felt cared about for once. But I'm not gonna be vulnerable in front of them, I can't they'd laugh at me and call me a baby. "Look, I just wanna lose a little weight is all," I lied. "A little weight  lance!? Look at this," Keith lifted up my shirt exposing my sunken in stomach and very prominent ribcage. "Dude! This isn't "a little weight! " I felt tears well up in my eyes but I couldn't let them see me cry, especially Keith. I turned around quickly and let a few tears roll down my face before wiping them away. I guess I had made some kind of noise indicating I was crying because just then Keith walked up in front of me.