tearing up my soul (Completed)

Fear (Keith's P.O.V)

I don't know what happened exactly but, I had a desire for lance. That... sounds really weird but, you know what I mean! Anyways, I calmed down and started to take lance's jacket off. He seemed kinda scared but didn't reject. I threw his jacket to the side and started tugging on his collar. He grabbed my hand and slammed his lips into mine. I immeadeatly melted into the kiss, my heart beating at a million miles per second. I began to lift up his shirt from the bottom, feeling up his upper body. I ran my hand in between his toned pecks and his defined abs, tracing each line with my pointer finger. I lifted off his shirt eyes still closed, still in the kiss. He was grabbing at his sleeve to keep it on but failed. I ripped the shirt off of him and continued to feel up his chest and moved down to his left arm. His smooth warm skin turned into jagged bumps all the way from his elbow to the top of his wrist. I opened my eyes and turned my head slowly, unprepared for the horror of what I saw next.
His scars.
His scars scattered about all over his body. It was terrible, seeing all of them, there had to have been one hundred plus scars in total. I scooted back an inch or so and stared at him. I looked into his deep blue eyes. "These are j...just battle scars? Ri...right?" I knew they weren't but I had a small sliver of hope. The thought of him doing that to himself made me sick to my stomach. I looked into his eyes as the streams began flowing. He cried. He sobbed so loud I was surprised no one woke up. He was just sitting there on his knees balling into his hands. The sound made me feel like my heart was being stabbed over and over. My stomach dropped and I felt a lump in my throat take form. I went in to hug him, but he scooted away quickly. "DON'T TOUCH ME!! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!" He screamed but not in an angry tone it was more of a ''i just lost everything deep sadness tone'' it broke my heart. I reached out for his shoulder but he violently shoved my shaky hand away. "I... i.. told...told y..you,
... d...dont touch me, I'm i... am a dumb, dangerous,  weak lit....little b..baby, Keith! Just... just le...leave...me a..l.one." He cried harder as he said this, Screaming into the palms of his hands. "Lance, you are not...dumb. you are not dangerous, and lance, its...its ok to... be weak, you...you don't h..have to...pret...pretend... anymore, just because you have emotions, doesn't make you any less strong, lance, you are an amazing paladin, and person... And you're human. You can't be the strongest all the time... it's ok to be sad, its ok to cry. Lance, i...i I'm sorry I never...knew...w..what was go..going on with you. I'm so sorry I ne..never asked. Lance, you are so so important, we need you.  ... I need you." Lance looked at me looking so drained and broken. I held my arms out for lance as I scooted in closer to him. He fell into my arms still violently sobbing. I ran my hands down the back of his head, feeling his warm tears soak through my light-black t-shirt. "I..im so..sorry
....i..m....su....ch.. a ..pa..thet..ic..mess....and..i..i..im..i.."
"Shhh, shhh, lance,  shhh, it's ok, I promise you it's ok, shhh," I gently shushed him as I whispered to him trying my best to make him feel better. We stayed in the hug for quite some time until lance stopped crying. He sat up wiping his cheeks and placed his hands in his lap. "Thank you keith, thank you so much, for everything." Lance gave me a small adorable smile and I felt my heart beat elevate once again. I kept telling myself lance isn't gay, the kiss was just an impulse it meant nothing, he likes girls, I mean he flirts with them all the time, we're just bros, buddies, pals right? I mean, I knew I was gay from a very young age but in my family that was wrong or bad, but as soon as I met lance, my world was brighter, on the first day at the garrison, he started flirting with these two Asian girls and gave both of them his number. So I know he's straight. But my crush on him only grew especially after he decided to open up and be vulnerable with me. I sat there and looked into his eyes and before I knew it....