Dear Hermione,..

The Corridor

I sat there, observing her as she walked out of the class.. I had been having feelings for her ever since first year..it's only now that I realize though..
Anyone who looks at me might think that I'm as strong as a pillar.. but that's only on the outside. Inside, I'm a tangled mess. My emotions , reflexes,actions,thoughts, everything was controlled by my father. He had instilled thoughts in me, fake beliefs in me , that I don't want to follow. I want to break free. I can't live in my father's orders and commands. I'm not his minion. But I don't have the courage to challenge him. He's a dangerous man, who wouldn't hesitate for one moment before killing his own son.
The horrible things he'd done to me keep flashing before my eyes every time I think of not obeying his orders.
A chill ran down my spine as I remembered that one time he almost killed me, in first year when he realized I talked to a mud-muggleborn.
"Mr.Malfoy, aren't you going to leave the class?"
I looked up to see Snape raising an eyebrow at me.
"I will professor. Is there any hurry? No problem if I stay longer,isn't it?" I asked, venom dripping in my tone.
He just coolly said,"oh no. Just you'll be late to work "
And just like that, he was gone with a swish of his robe.
Work. I knew exactly what that meant..

***

I walked out of the room of requirements with a heavy weight settling in the pit of my stomach. I had  to repair the closet faster.. or he'll kill my family. He can kill my father..but not my mother.
I was so deep in my grief that I didn't notice her walking toward me, head emersed in a book. It was too late when I realized, and we bumped into each other. I almost stretched my hands out to catch her, but stopped mid thought. What if she didn't like me helping her?
She fell to the ground with a loud thump. It took everything in me to stop myself from flinching.
She muttered a sorry and looked up, her face turning from an apologetic look to a hard glare.
"You."
The hatred in her voice made my heart ache. Obviously she hated me. I have been nothing but cruel to her ever since the earth started revolving.
" Yes me" I had to be mean to her..
"Watch where you're going Granger."
I turned to walk past her when she grabbed my hand and said," What, no 'mudblood' today? My my, Malfoy. You're going soft."
I pulled my hand out of her grip, forcing a grimace on my face.
"Don't touch me. You don't deserve to."
And with that I managed to walk away as fast as I could while looking not bothered, but irritated, and with swag and pride... What could I do, my image is just too complicated.
Her words rang out in my head again and again. No. The hatred in them were the ones that bothered me the most.
Here, in this corridor, I knew. We can never have anything more than enmity.