Alternative Ways

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"Doug," the little cube said, "you know those people Wheatley mentioned earlier? About those people who were standing behind him? He talked about it to GLaDOS as he attempted to kill Chell." I nodded to that. Wheatley must've gone absolutely bonkers at that moment. He said he turned around and saw a teenager and two kids. "He was crazy. And besides, even if they were real, they escaped in the end." I caught my breath there and coughed in surprise. "They- they escaped." I sputtered.


"Where did they go again?" I asked the pretty little box. "Some kind of giant slide, I believe." It responded correctly. I laughed, crazily. This was my chance! My chance to escape! The singing of the turrets abruptly ended. Suddenly, floors opened beneath them, and they were sent into Android Hell. "You've been too annoying for my taste. Sorry." GLaDOS explained to the demented standing guns.


Their high pitched voices screamed as they were sent into the fire. The giant turret- who I had named the "King Turret"- stayed in place, with its crown on its head, standing majestically in the background. I walked away from the scene. It was my idea to put nerves into these things, and despite their painful sounding screams, I loved hearing them. They deserved it, even though they were made to shoot at organic life.


I'd been holding a grudge against them ever since they first started shooting at me. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by my companion, saying "Hey! Are you forgetting me?" "No, I was... going to attempt to protect you. But if you want to come..." I said, meekly. I didn't see my friend roll its eyes, but I could surely feel it.


I picked up a radio and put it on top of Companion, which was its name, and flipped through the songs. "Exile.... Vilify...!" The radio said. "Too depressing." I said over the sound. I flipped it again. "Goodbyeeeeeee, moonmen! We say goodbyeeeeee... moonmen!" It played afterward. "Perfect." I smiled, knowing I'd never heard this song before.


I ran through the corridors of the laboratory with Companion strapped to my back. "Hello, Doug." Said the familiar, looming voice. "Long time, no hear, GLaDOS." I responded, panting all along. "Why haven't you given up by now? I know you, and you know me. And what I know is that you cannot do anything to hurt me. You made a mistake, Doug." "What mistake did I make besides creating you?" "That's just it. You created someone smarter than you."


After a while of running, which I was really good at by now, GLaDOS opened a little spot in the wall. "Deploying." "Dispensing product." The two little turrets said upon being revealed. I kicked one into the other and let out a horrified cry of pain. "Hahahaha... what did I tell you, Doug? You can't escape me." She said.

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