Stories of Reformed Daniel

Guilt on the mind and in the heart

It had been one month. One month. One damned month and it was still there. The guilt was still there. Granted Daniel knew that all this emotional baggage wouldn't go away within mere days. Hell, even a few weeks! But that didn't mean he didn't hope it would. As stated before, Daniel had been a co-counselor for pretty much a month now, after David -the saint he was- had convinced the police and court to give him a second chance. A chance that, in his eyes, he didn't deserve. He didn't deserve it at all. Not after everything he did. But nonetheless, David convinced them, somehow, to let him work at Camp Campbell for the rest of the summer, to prove that he could change. Daniel was convinced that the judge would right David off as just some crazy person and dismiss him. But to his complete shock, he agreed. Daniel was given some strict restrictions of course. He wasn't allowed to be alone with the children. He wasn't allowed near sharp objects or weapons. If he went into town David had to go with him. Things like that.

Daniel had become accustom to these new rules. While at first it was embarrassing and tedious to ask David or Gwen to cut his food for him, he got over it eventually. At least he was allowed to use forks...dull plastic forks. The only rule he didn't like was the one about going into town. It wasn't about the fact that David needed to be present when he went out, oh no, he could care less about that. It was the fact they assumed he'd even want to go to town in the first place. The blond could barely stand the hateful glares and constant angry whispers of the campers whenever he so much as walked near them or the untrusting looks from Gwen whenever he was near the kids or anything that could be considered a weapon. But going to a town where everyone knew about what he did and would more than likely hate him for it. No, not happening. The constant glares, looks and whispers had been easy to ignore or put up with in the beginning, but now, after a month of this treatment, it was beginning to take its tole on him.

He would try to put on a 'happy face' and act like everything was fine and dandy! But all he got in return were more glares and smart comments, usually from Max, who seemed to be most fixated on him. And he...he deserved it. Daniel would be lying if he said he didn't. He did so many bad things and for what? A stupid religion that some crackpot probably made up? What was wrong with him? A sigh fell from his mouth as he entered his room in the consulares quarters. He plopped himself on the edge of his bed and glanced over at a nearby mirror hanging on his wall. The face staring back at him was the definition of a broken person. Pale, glossed over eyes, downcast face, he looked pitiful. If he squinted, he could almost see his old self grinning back at him in that mirror. His old, evil self. The him that killed people, poisoned others and many more horrible things. He quickly tore his gaze away from the mirror with another shaky sigh and leaned forward, folding his arms and resting them on his legs. He could hear the face in the mirror reciting all his faults. Some in the voice of the campers and some in his own voice. All telling him how much of a terrible person he was, how he didn't deserve to be here, how everyone hated him.

The campers hated him, Gwen hated him, the only one at this camp that didn't hate him was David. David...god that man was a saint. He was constantly happy, optimistic and... forgiving. He was a nice man...David was better then him. Daniel felt his eyes tear up. David probably never did anything bad in his life while Daniel had done very horrible, terrible things. The tears now began to roll down his cheeks, he didn't even try to stop them. He was horrible, he was evil, everyone hated him and he deserved it. He deserved all the hatred. He deserved all the harsh comments. He deserved all the angry and suspicious looks. He deserved all the biting remarks. He deserved not to be trusted. He was a bad person. A small sob fell from his mouth. Daniel let his hands grip his arms tightly as he began to shake. He didn't deserve this second chance! He didn't deserve to be here! He didn't deserve kindness! He didn't deserve forgiveness! He didn't deserve anything! He-! "Daniel?" The blond's head shot up to his door. His tear filled eyes widened upon seeing the person that the voice belonged to. David stood in his doorway with his hand on the knob, a look of genuine concern on his face.