The Sum of Our Parts

Chapter 10

Tobio was a coward. It had been three days since the wedding, and still he had not removed the suggestion. Shoyo had been so content just lazing around, cuddling, and having sex. It was a peaceful few days and Tobio convinced himself that it was worth waiting for. A bright spot of happiness before the impending doom.

Soon, work would start again. Tobio didn't have that much time left. He resolved to do what needed to be done that night, but once more lost his nerve. Wrapped in Shoyo's arms with that bright smile and sleepy eyes turned up at him... How could he do it?

So, like a coward, he waited. Then, as Shoyo slept, Tobio released the suggestion. It seemed like a decent idea, letting Shoyo wake up in the morning to process things slowly, and allow Tobio one more night. Yet the later into the night it got, the less Tobio found himself able to sleep.

What if Shoyo didn't want to see Tobio? Especially not that close and immediately after waking up. Maybe it would be best if Shoyo woke up alone in order to deal with his righted memories. With that in mind, Tobio moved to the couch.

However, that wasn't much better. His mind swirled with possible discussions and arguments. He kept thinking about what would be the right thing to say. He paced restlessly until he finally collapsed into a chair. At some point he dozed, but never for long.

When the first rays of morning light pierced the windows, Tobio's mind went still, desperately listening for Shoyo's movements. It was a long time before Shoyo rolled out of bed, and shuffled his way to the bathroom. He likely hadn't had time to wake enough to realize what had happened.

Tobio sat curled in a chair, numb and unprepared. Dark circles under his eyes and hair a mess, he was the perfect image of guilt. He held his breath and waited.

The door to the bathroom very slowly slid back open. Shoyo's soft footsteps seemed overly loud in the quiet morning air of the apartment. At last, Shoyo stumbled into view. He turned wide, stunned eyes on Tobio.

"What..."

Tobio looked away, unable to handle the desperate intensity of Shoyo's eyes.

"What did you do?" Shoyo whispered in shock.

"I'm sorry..." Tobio's voice was quiet and scratchy from lack of sleep.

"You're... sorry..." Shoyo repeated. There was a moment of silence before Shoyo's body tensed, his fists curling up tight, his teeth gritted against tears and anger. "You're sorry?! That's all you have to say?!"

"I only wanted to protect yo—"

"I didn't ask for that!" Shoyo's voice shook with outrage. "I didn't ask for any alpha to come charging in to protect me from the world!"

"I was supposed to just sit by?" Tobio couldn't stop his voice from rising in return. "You were going to sacrifice yourself for nothing!"

"You controlled me!" Shoyo shouted, tears trailing down his cheeks. "You knew how I felt about that, so you did something ten times worse!"

Tobio flinched, and glared at the floor. "It was a dumb decision, alright? But I was afraid. I didn't know what to do."

"And it wasn't your job to figure it out!"

"How can you say that?!" Tobio finally looked up. He was shaking and bile pressed at the back of his throat, but he ignored it. "After everything that's happened, how can you say I should have just walked away?"

"Everything?" Shoyo threw his hands in the air. "What everything? This was all you!"

"NO!" Tobio tried to catch his breath. Why was that so hard to do? "All that suggestion did was change your memory of the past. It didn't control your decisions in the future."