Chasing: Lost Hope (Book 1) *IN PROCESS* L.H & A.M

Prolouge

*edited*

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| Present |

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| Austin |

"...I don't really remember when I first started falling for him. It was maybe when I first moved here and I met Liam who then introduced me to his friends. I dunno, me and Luke just kind of...clicked right from the start, I guess... y'know?" She nods, just tapping her pencil against the notepad, in between jotting down notes. You see, I'm in therapy meant to be for my problems. One of them being how I have this person, Zander, inside of my head who just talks to me when I'm angry. I dunno, but my therapist says that I name my emotions so thus meaning he talks to me when I'm mad but the thing is: he talks to me all of the time now.

This therapist was assigned to me to help me work my life problems out. Not my love problems. But look at what we're doing now. Discussing my love problems.

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| Past |

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| Austin |

I looked over at him and I saw him just staring at the blank TV screen. I guess he saw me looking at him from the corner of his eye because he then turned the next second to look over at me.

"Oh, hi," he says. I don't respond, I just continue to stare at him. I get lost in his beautiful blue eyes. Oh, how they sparkle in the dim light of the living room. As I zone out, it's just a big blur in front of my eyes. What is happening to me? Why is he taking over my thoughts? He's just so-so beautiful. No, Zander protests. Yes, yes he is. He sighs, defeated.

| Luke |

His eyes seem so distant, he just...stares at me. To be honest, it's starting to kind of freak me out. "Um...Austin..?" I try and get his attention as I snap my fingers in front of his face. "Aussie?...Pookie?..." I look down at my hands, trying to think of a way to knock him back to reality. I ponder for a moment but...nothing. I sigh, looking back up at him. I gently go to slap his face. Nothing. I slap his cheek harder this time. Nada. Harder. Zip. Harder. Zero. Harder. No response. I groan and throw my hands into the air out of frustration. I think back to another solution once again but only to come up with one. I slowly lean in, my hands resting on the space of spare couch in between us. I hesitate but then dive in to softly kiss his cheek, my lips lingering longer than usual. I close my eyes for a brief second, then I draw back, reopening my eyes to see his eyes closed, lips parted slightly.

Is he back?...

| Austin |

His lips were pressed to my cheek...

I'm kind of freaking out here. He did not just kiss me. Oh but he did, Zander displays. Shut up, let me fantasise -- wait what did you just say? I said, yes he did just kiss you.

I don't respond, I just sit there. Suddenly there is light -- I don't even notice I had closed my eyes -- and I see Luke staring back at me, uncertain. I lick my lips, involuntarily, looking him over. "Uhm...Aussie? Please don't zone out on me again. It was quite weird." I look away embarrassed.

"Oh, erm, sorry about that."

"Oh, no, it's fine..." he trails off. Its silent for a while -- I'm guessing, say, 15-20 minutes tops.

I try not look at him but every now and then I peek looks at him and luckily he's never looking when I do. Which kind of breaks my heart at the same time.

What's up with me today? I don't like him!?

But that sounds more like a question to me...

I ignore him because a little part of me know he's right. And that little part of me just has his mind set on saying:

"If only he could be mine. If only Hazza wasn't in the way of everything..."

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| Present |

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"And how does that make you feel?" She asks, finally looking up at me. I don't even know her name...

I loosely grip the sides of my chair, trying to calm Zander. He hates it when people ask questions, he rarely does it himself. "Do you actually have a degree in this category because all you guys ever ask is the same damn question over and over again as if it might actually get us somewhere." I mock her, using her voice, "'And how does that make you feel?'"

She looks at me, eyes narrowed. I stare her down. Oh, we'll win this stare down. Challenge accepted. It's only been a couple of seconds when she backs down, briefly looking away and slowly takes off her small-rimmed glasses. I guess she noticed my eyes turning to an unusually darker shade of brown, almost black. Challenge won. "Fine," she pauses for moment. She looks at me, leans forward and rests her intertwined fingers on the table. I lean back on the couch in response. "What do you find so fascinating about this young boy, Luke?" I look at her, my eyes quickly going from hard to soft. I slump in my spot on the love seat. I look over at Zander who sits rested on the couch in the corner. He looks over at my therapist. (A/N: Remember, he's kind of just a figure of Austin's imagination, but he plays the role of 'anger', like as in the emotion. To make it clear, he also has a nice side but he's mostly rude and arrogant. Yeah...)

"That's a good question, Medusa." His gaze then trails over to me. I roll my eyes. He's such a dummy.

The only reason he calls her that is because she has these type of twists in her hair that kind of look like snakes.

He slowly starts to walk over and stands right front of me, him being taller since I am still sitting in the chair. "What do think, Aus? What is your answer?" He crosses his arms. I look away.

"Shut up, I'm thinking," I whisper only loud enough for him to hear, I hope. I don't want the therapist thinking I'm crazy. Though I'm starting to think that I've already sailed that ship.

| Therapist |

I continue to look at him and for once, he seems to be thinking before blurting out his answer. I watch his eyes and they quickly dart over to the camouflaged chair that sits in the corner. He rolls his eyes, and now his eyes seem to trail something. A person maybe? A ghost? Well, his eyes are trailing something. He told me about this Zander character, but he didn't tell me if he could see him in human form or not. So I have no idea what he could be looking at.

I hear him whisper something along the lines of, 'I'm thinking,' but I may be wrong. But if I'm not, then who in earth was he talking to? He certainly wasn't talking to me, because I wasn't talking. Or was I speaking my thoughts? I look around then back to him. He isn't looking at me so I guess not.

I sigh, writing the scene that lies in front of me down on my yellow pad of paper.

| Austin |

It's been a couple of minutes, I'm guessing. That's what Zander tells me. But the looks of it, it seems that's it's been longer than just a few minutes because Zander is sprawled on the couch, eyes barely open and the therapist -- I really need to learn her name, but its a shame, I've known her for how long? -- sits at her main desk, head close to touching the top of the table.

I get both their attention as they both pop up into a sitting position as I speak my words.

"I dunno... He's just so..." I try to find my words. "Perfect, in a way.." I pause. "Y'know? And he just has this aura..that makes me always want to be around him. He has this way of making me feel as if he needs to be saved; protected. And I guess... All I really want is to be his knight in shining armour..."

AUTHORS NOTE: How was it? I'm trying to update more but I got lots of things on my mind SOOO yeah. Tell me what you think...If people even read these things... Or if anyone reads any of my stories at all.