Chasing: Lost Hope (Book 1) *IN PROCESS* L.H & A.M

Chapter One

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| Present |

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| Austin |

My mentally stable room is dark now, I sit in the complete silence. Just how I like it. It's perfect. I pull out my phone, and go to my notes. I make a new one not really thinking about the title for now.

I think about him, his blue eyes and how they light up my path. His angelic voice and how I seem to be hypnotised...

"Why go?"

"Why leave?"

I can't feel much,

But I know my visions blurry.

I'll miss you dearly, Sweetcheeks.

Remember, I'll still call you that.

When you leave,

I know I'll never get my real self back.

I'll still love you most, Lukey.

It'll hurt me so, watching you go.

Then I'll have no one,

Because I don't think you know that you're my only home.

As bright as the sun, your eyes shine,

And you blind us with your beauty.

When I can't get over the fact that you're really gone,

I'll never forget all of the times when you kissed me profusely.

Please don't leave me,

I'm helpless without you.

Me - Your guidance = Me not knowing what to do.

I want you to stay here,

I don't care if you're with someone else.

I don't care of you don't feel the same about me,

And I won't ask for your help.

I'll be empty if you walk out of my life,

Straight out the door.

And I'll die out frustration,

Because how much do you wanna bet that in a couple of years you won't even know who I am anymore?

I'll still keep loving you,

Forever in my heart you'll remain.

Since that one day in rp and everyday after today...

I sigh, leaning back against the side of my bed. And yet another poem about him. After moments and moments of thought, I decide on a name:

Sweetcheeks...I'll Miss You.

I exit out of my notes after saving the new-made poem and lock my phone, pressing the lock button two times so Luke's face pops up alongside with mine, me kissing his cheek. Suddenly warm, salty tears are streaming down my face and I groan, throwing my phone all the way across the room for it to hit the door, not cracking or breaking since it has on a special metal/steel case that my doctor had specially ordered for me since I have major anger issues.

My heads slumps into my hands as the sound of jingling keys stop right outside my door. The large metal door slowly swings open considering how big and heavy it is. My gaze stays locked on the wooden floor, tear drops splitting down every once in a while which gets me even more angry with everything.

The world.

Myself.

Everyone.

"Even me?" I don't have to look up to know who said it. Zander. I can't respond though because whoever walked through the door will think I'm crazy. Well, I guess they already know I'm crazy since I'm in a mental institution.

"Aussie?" At the sound of the name, my head shoots up to look at the door where the person came through. Though I am disappointed to see that it's only Benny.

I try and shoot daggers at him but they only come out as glares. That'll have to do. "Don't call me that," I spit out at him before standing up and going over to my bed, laying down on it. It reminds me of him.

"I just heard a loud bang and I wanted to see if you're alright.." He says, his voice clearly shaking. Yeah, I get that reaction a lot. I can either be sweet and gentle or rough and angry. See, now most people would say, "It's your choice." But no, it's not your choice, it's not mine either. It's Zanders'. He represents an emotion. Anger. So it's either he's here...or he's not. And right now he's here so it really does suck for Benny.

"Well yeah," I turn to face him, him flinching back at my strong sarcastic and frustrated face. "Cuz I'm certainly not sitting here, in some-some mental institution or hospital or whatever. Oh, no, I'm just a regular kid going to a regular school talking with other regular people. Yup, I'm just peachy keen." I turn my back and cross my arms.

"...Well I just thought-"

I caught off his whisper, replying with:

"Well, you thought wrong." I wait a couple of seconds before looking over my shoulder to see the dark boy still staring at me. "Can't you take a hint? Shoo! Fuck off, alright? I'm fine!" I hear his shoes skid, an I turn around to see him quickly scurrying to the door, closing it with a loud 'clank'.

"No you're not... You know you're not.." Zander speaks up but I decide to ignore him.

How is that every time I want someone to leave me alone, they won't and when I don't want someone to leave me alone, they do?

Why, Luke?

Why are you one of those people?

(A/N: *shrugs* tried my best...)