(Bobbie's POV)
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I can't believe this had happend!!! ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!! ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!!! I can't believe this! I'm a horrible person! IF I HAD JUST STAYED AT SCHOOL WITH BECCA THEN SHE WOULD BE OKAY!!!!! I'm freaking out and I just don't know what's going on with her! The doctors keep saying "Becca will be Okay, stay calm." BUT SHE NOT OKAY AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!
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They won't tell me any thing or let me see her! I'm freaking out!!!! And there are a lot of strange and disturbed people in the waiting room. So I don't want strangers looking at me while I have my nervous break down in front of them so I walk out into the hallway. It's much quieter out here then in there. I start walking to try and clear my head, BUT ITS NOT WORKING!!!!! I start running.... I just seem to keep running down this endless hallway go dispare!!!! Then I stop because my legs just can't bear it any more so I just hit the wall and slide down it on my back!
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I sit there for a good 30 minutes just staring into space thinking about how much I hate myself! Finally I get the urge to stand and just walk. And I stop in front of the bathroom. I walk in and slam the door behind me and lock it. I walk in front if the mirror and stare! "I HATE YOU!!!" I yell to the figure in the mirror. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!" I yell again. I can't bare it any longer and I just let the tears flow out! I let them flow till they won't come no more. I look in the mirror once more and see that my cheeks are red and my eyes are red and puffy. I'm disgusted! I HATE MYSELF!!! And I can't bare it any longer and I put my hand in my back pocket and pull out my little pocket knife. I open up the blade, I run my finger across the blade feeling the sharp tip. I look up from the blade into the mirror and smile a devilish smile. I grip the knife a little titter, near my wrist and run it across my bare skin.
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The pain of the blade running across my wrist is unbearable but I love the pain. I'm punishing my body for being such a coward. I hate myself! This body is stupid and I HATE it!!! I wish I could just abandon my body and let it rot in hell! I continue rubbing the blade a cross my skin. I place the fresh cuts under the fosset and turn it on and let the cold water wash away the blood. I finally calmed down. I look at my wrist and see 4 wet cuts on it. I walk out of the bathroom and head back to the waiting room to see if anything is going on with Becca.
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I finally get back to the waiting room. I walk up to the lady at the desk and say "Um... Am I aloud to see Rebecca Miller?" "Let me ask Dr.Pepper." She says with a smile. I let out a little laugh cause seriously, Dr.Pepper. "The doctor said Yes but she is still asleep and she cant see u but she might be able to hear you though." I smile to her. "Okay, Thanks." "Her room is at the end of the hall on the left." She says. I nod to her and make my way to the room she told me. I make it and right there.... Is my BEAUTIFUL Becca! She looks so peaceful. I walk up to her and sit in the chair by her bed.
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I stare at her for a minute. Then I grab a hold of her soft hand. I intwine our fingers. "I'm so sorry," I start "It's all my fault that this happened, I can't believe this happened," I'm nearly crying now "But I wanted to tell you Becca that......., I Love You!"
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(TO BE CONTINUE)
