Even as the year's pass, time stands still for people like me. Nothing grows old and nothing changes. My shadowed eyes show me the truth within people. Their masks cannot fool me as it does with everyone else. I see beyond the facade. But there was a time my own truth had fooled me. When the shadow first crept in, it was only a blur. But as time slowed the light had slowly started to fade out.
As my vision decayed I became isolated and secluded. The dark surrounded me and I felt lost. I had become a task to most people and I rejected the idea of needing help anymore.
So as I sat alone on the hospital bed I had not known what time it was as I couldn't see the light. A light click of my door frightened me as I assumed it was a nurse with water so I ignored her, but as I felt a slight dip on the side of me bed fear consumed me once again.
Was it a murderer?
A rapist?
But the sound of a childlike voice overcame my worries.
"Hello!",
I did not have any children nor know of any so the thought of trying to deal with one confused me.
"hi?" I replied back,
"I heard you were like me! so I wanted to visit". What does she mean by that? like me... Does she speak of my skin colour? The rich dark chocolate of my skin was similar to hers? Does she speak of the fact that I'm basically bedridden? ...no... she is up here seeing, where she wants to be, and as my legs can move it would be a hassle for everyone else.
"can I touch your eyes?",
Before I could even reply a small hand caressed my eyelids and a warm light protruded from my peripherals.
"I heard from one of the nurses that there was someone blind in this hospital as well! so I came and checked cause I'm gonna be like you soon!"
The statement took me by the leg and pushed me over. Her undying happiness from the situation had choked me. Completely opposite to me. Here a young girl, indifferent of how vastly her worlds going to change. But here I am, not being productive with my life. Words were unable to form from my mouth. The call of the nurse's voice filled the awkward silence and she quickly apologised taking the child with her. Every day after that she came again and again. She led me outside one time teaching me the sounds of the earth, the laughs and cries of children. Smells of different foods and the feeling of joy again. But one day she didn't come. Her surgery was that day and so I waited patiently for her to return with a nurse on her arm, for the loud giggling of her voice, but it never came. I waited day after day for her to return but her small hands that once caressed my pain never came back. The taste of foods once again became bland. The sounds of people and animals all became one silent buzz and the longer she was gone the more my senses had disappeared. One day my door clicked and a ray of sun had shone through, but alas not all happy things stay. A nurse fills me with dreaded news. The surgery that was supposed to help the young girl had put her into intensive care and last night she had passed. My silence had probably made the nurse leave and I heard the door click again. I pulled my bedsheets off and almost tripped across everything in my room. I held the wall as I half ran half limped anywhere but the room. I ran into people, into beds, into machines and eventually found myself standing outside. Grass between my toes, she had taught me to live again and she was not here living. The wind blew through me and the sounds of birds chirping filled my ears, crickets, people. I covered my ears, fell to my knees and bawled. I don't know how long I did that, but the pain inside me subsided. I realised even without her here physically she was always with me. I looked up into the sky, the silhouette of light lifted my soul, what is warmth?
