Waving Through A Window ~ Phan AU

Chapter 1

'On the outside always looking in will I ever be more than I've always been?'

Dan's POV

Do you ever feel as if you're drowning and as if you are unable to breathe? Like the whole world is against you, constantly dragging you down. Always feeling compressed and miserable, stuck in isolation and sadness? Well that's what I feel like everyday. The only happiness in my life is the beautiful pastel colours that are unique, the gorgeous flowers that sway in the wind, the creatures and animals with their own unique qualities. The light in my darkness. It's sad, believe me I know, but when you have no friends or family, well no family who are ever around, you often seek comfort in the beautiful stuff around you, you admire the scenery and the small things that create the world. However, don't get me wrong, it would be nice to share it with a special somebody. To have someone in my life to help me through all the hard times and for me to do the same for them. To love someone and to have them love me back, but that's never going to happen. Who would love the pastel boy? The freak? The fag? No one.

I stared out the cream bordered window of my house in admiration. Watching as the leaves fell from the trees, hinting that Autumn was soon to arrive. The sky had no clouds and the sun was beaming through my window. I wish my mood always matched the sun, bright and whole, not dark and broken.

I saw as a large truck, which was obviously a moving truck, and a small car pulled into the driveway across the road, a man got out the passengers side of the car, he wore old, wrinkled clothes, he looked as if he aged well before his time, he wore a grim face and he clearly looked quite drunk. He walked slowly into the house, trying to keep his balance. Then, I saw a boy who looked about 15-17 years old get out of the drivers side of the car, colourful tattoos covered his arms, his hair was dyed a dark blue, he wore black clothes and he had multiple piercings. I liked it, he was unique. He soon walked over to the back seat and pulled out a little girl who looked about 5-6. Clutching her in his arms and smiling slightly as he stood her up on the concrete floor. They both started grabbing stuff out of the truck and hauling them inside the house. Who I suspected as the 'father' was no where to be seen. I watched in fascination.

As soon as they were finished and inside the house, I sat on my single bed and grabbed my light blue laptop, flicking it open and finishing the exam I had for school tomorrow, my mind constantly on the teenage boy who just moved into the neighbourhood, I found myself smiling slightly.

...

Suddenly, I awoke to a ringing sound echoing through my ears. My alarm. The time wrote on the clock said 7:00am. 1 hour and a half till school starts, oh great.

Rubbing my eyes, I pulled the covers off me and slowly stood up, walking to the bathroom and carefully taking off my pyjamas. Turning on the shower to a warm temperature and standing in. I winced as the water ran over and burned my fresh scars that were littered over my body. My fingers ran over the lines and I sighed as each scar held a terrible memory that I would have much rather had forgotten. I sighed again, finished washing myself and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist, brushing my teeth and walking back to my bedroom. I pulled a pastel pink jumper over my head, one of my favourite items of clothing. Then I pulled on some white skinny jeans, after underwear of course, and placed a pink and white flower crown over my curly hair, adjusting it so that it sat correctly on my head.

Then I decided to go and get some breakfast. I walked down stairs and looked in the fridge. Thinking about what I should eat. After a few minutes of just pondering about food, I just decided to grab an apple and go back upstairs. I ate the apple and then put my pastel pink converse on, tying them in double knots. Grabbing my bag, I walked out the door and began to trek to school.

As the school came into sight, I lowered my head, scraping my feet on the floor, this is my least favourite place, it's where all the bullying takes place. I began to walk along the school hallway, trying to stay unnoticed.

'Give them no reason to stare. No slipping up if you slip away.'

"Hey look it's the fag!" A voice I recognised too much called from behind me. I turned around and came face to face with Alfie Deyes. Alfie was my main bully, he was a little bit taller than me, he had black hair, thick eyebrows and was the most popular boy in the school. His 'best friends' Joe Sugg and Caspar Lee were with him like usual. Joe was the smallest of the group, he had blonde hair, was slim and was the captain of the football team. Caspar was the tallest of the bunch, he was also blonde and was from South Africa. Alfie and Joe both hurt me physically and verbally whilst Caspar was more of a bystander. He was the one who always stood back and often yelled insults at me with a look of guilt upon his face. Many other people bullied me but this group was the worst.

Alfie pushed me against the lockers, smirking, a crowd began to gather around us.
"Did you miss us, freak?" I remained silent, terrified.

"Of course you did. Are you ready for another lesson?" Alfie sniggered and held up his fist. My eyes began to water as Alfie swung his fist toward me. I felt a large impact on my stomach as the wind was knocked out of me and I fell to the floor in pain, clutching my stomach. I heard them all laugh. Then I saw that Joe was about to punch me again, I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for the pain but it never came. I opened my eyes and saw Joe on the floor. A hand held on his cheek, his face twisted in pain. I looked up and saw the boy who moved in across the road from me stand above me, staring at Alfie, Joe and Caspar. Alfie tried to punch him but the boy dodged and punched him on the nose, Alfie grabbed his nose as it began bleeding and they finally got the gist and ran off down the hallway.

"Do any of you give a damn about privacy? Fuck off!" The boy shouted at the crowd around us. They walked off, annoyed.

He turned around and looked down at me, he held out his hand. I grabbed it, hesitantly and he pulled me up. This is when I got a proper look at him. His skin was pale but in the most beautiful way. He had one lip piercing, one nose piercing and one eyebrow piercing. They really suited him. He was also very thin. The underweight kind of thin which sort of scared me. I hope he was naturally that thin. Also his eyes were unmissable. They were beautiful blue eyes. They were the colour of the sea with a slight bit of green in the middle and a few specks of yellow.

"Are you alright?" He asked, a look of concern upon his face.

"Yes, th-thank you." I replied, gratefully, feeling relieved.

"Don't listen to those assholes, they just think they're better then everyone else and it's honestly just making them look stupid." He told me whilst rolling his eyes. I just nodded back at him.

"Anyways I'm Phil Lester, nice to meet you." He introduced, offering me a hand shake

"Daniel H-Howell, but y-you can call m-me Dan." I shook his hand

"Well, I'll see you around, Dan." Phil smirked, walking off. I smiled and watched him as he walked away.

'We start with stars in our eyes.'

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Well that was the first chapter, not sure if it's good or not, may be sort of rushed since I wrote it at 1:20am. Oh well, please leave a vote and a comment :) hopefully I should get the next chapter out soon, will try.
Byeeee
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