Our Time Is Up

Chapter One

Blankets were thrown off my heavily breathing body as I fought to regain my composure. The same dream had been haunting me for the last six months. Every detail stayed the same, each night. Nothing dared to change, nothing would give me the satisfaction of just changing it’s course. No, exactly the same. The same place, the same words, the same face and the same hurt came flooding back to me every night, the very second my head touched my pillow. Last night had been no different.

Dried tears clung to my cheeks while  fresh ones threatened to fall from my burning eyes as I pushed myself into a sitting position. I raked a hand through my hair, smoothing my already straightened locks, and calming myself down slightly. I shivered as my feet hit the floor, wooden boards sending a chill through my body, but I was used to feeling cold. Cold is a feeling associated with unhappiness, and unhappiness has been swallowing me up lately, and the worst part is that I don’t even see the point in trying to get myself away from the downward spiral that seems to be taking control.

Looking in the mirror I hardly recognized the face staring back. Mascara cascaded down my blotchy cheeks, tears had done their worst yet again. I was used to the sight before me though, it was the same thing every morning, I had grown used to covering up puffy eyes at this stage.

Six months is a long time, I should be over him, I should move on. He’s probably moved on my now, got himself some stunning girlfriend, forgotten about me.

Three years is an even longer time though, you don’t get over spending three years of your life with someone that quickly, you can’t. I’m not going to be able to move on, not when everything I look at reminds me of him.

The guitar hanging in what used to be our bedroom, the very one he would sit behind for hours, smiling at me whenever I caught his stare. The telephone in what used to be our hallway, the one he used to call me on whenever he was away from home. The kitchen table where we sat side by side each morning, me sipping coffee and him flicking through the television channels desperately trying to find something worth watching.

There was no point in ignoring it any longer. I had tried to put on a brave face, telling everyone I was ok, while really I was falling apart behind closed doors. I was sick of it, I missed him more than I could put into words, I loved him more than I ever had before, even with the memories of the day he left, I could never fall out of love with someone like Jamie Campbell Bower.