♡You made me lie against my will♡
you made me cry just for thrill
you made me put on a show
you made me shrink when I would grow
you made me stuck when I should fly
you made me want to dig out my eyes
you made me ask myself why
you made me coat glitter on the outside
"I love you."
-- 13th October 2017
There was a burning sensation within my mouth, I felt your soft lips rub against my dry cheek. I had never felt anything like it, I was so overwhelmed with thoughts about us in bed, that I slowly brought my cheek away. Your lips dragged down, down towards my nose until I felt a fire striking my heart. We kissed- lip to lip. It was as if the world around us had suddenly shut down, nobody was on this planet anymore, but us. My eyes shut as I wrapped my arms around you, feeling your warm tanned skin against mine. I brought you closer to my chest.
"Are you okay?"
-- 2nd November 2017
We had been dating for around a month now, the air had seemed sweeter every time I saw him. His eyes would glimmer in the sun every time we laughed, and in the rain, they would sparkle. Yes, it was a perfect relationship. We had a few off days, but I kept telling myself it was normal to have these thoughts. Today was one of those "off" days. He had come home carrying nothing but his phone, his eyes no longer had an effect at this moment, it felt more like the time I got my ears peirced for the first time; with the tingling after effect of pain.
"Why do you act like this around me?"
-- 20th November 2017
He had been moaning in his sleep recently, and sometimes got so angry he slept downstairs. He would make these expressions as if to say, "you're not worth my love." But I just ignored it and kept a smile. Some days my smile would swell, leaving a dangerous mark of pain like a scar would. The way I heard him shout at me made me feel sick, it felt like I just swallowed poison.
"you're scaring me."
-- 16th October 2017
I'm not healing as fast as before. Last night he told me he hated me and grabbed an invisible knife to defend himself, from me. I couldn't tell what happened, it was like he snapped into another person- one in which would have no problem with stabbing me through the heart. I wanted to tell him so many things, about I felt about him and the way he was acting but every time I opened my mouth I was stabbed in the stomach. Stabbed in the chest, stabbed in the eyes, and finally stabbed through the back.
"I can finally regret."
-- 1st January 2018
I'm hiding now, it's new years eve. The beast left me with scars that wouldn't stop bleeding. He left with two of his friends to celebrate in the city. Taking the keys with him. I was trapped, I had wasted my time for so long with a man who never loved me. For once in my life, I saw the truth- it was all a lie. It was all...
"A kiss of death."
