Almost

Lost

Why am I lost?

I do soul-searching

And I come up empty

I force myself to feel happiness

Yet all I feel is depressed

I walk alone

Even though it hurt,

I said I was okay

Lying to myself

Has become my favorite past-time

I don't believe a word of it

I'm the one who comforts myself

When I'm crying

But even I know

I'm lying

I'm lost

In a world of social connections

I'm alone

In a society of friends

I'm secluded

I lose myself in sorrow

And the self-pity

I go about life in a monotonous way

Getting home

To be alone, again

I put on a fake smile

Walking around seemingly without a care

All thumbs ups and grins

To those who left me

Those who ignored me

I don't dress up for them anymore

Wearing what's comfortable

Rolling out of bed

To the perpetuated rumors

To the hate directed towards me

Why am I lost?

In a world of love

Yet only feeling hate

Asking for direction

But receiving glares