I've been lying to myself a lot lately. I've been trying to assure myself that I'm fine, trying to brush off every bad thing that happens to me. But It's recently building up on my head. I want to let it all out, but I don't know how. I've wanted to vent it for so long, but I don't know who I would have done it to. I've wanted to be a better me. But I just find it too hard. So I just have to settle with who I am now.
Life was so much easier when I was younger. There weren't many problems. I wasn't stressed. I had people around me that I could trust with my secrets, and that I could love unconditionally. I had the parental supervision that I need for that very fragile transition into maturity. I don't have those now. I have to fend for myself. The stress is building up so much. I have mental breakdowns at least 3 times every day. I have waay too much on my mind It's not easy. I'm trying my hardest. But It's not working.
I can't believe I forgot my manners. Manners maketh a man, I guess, heh. Hi. My name is Elijah Thomas and I am 14 years old. I go to a school that is on the other side of the country that I live in. My parents and family live on one, side and I go to school on the other side, basically. I don't want to travel for 4 hours every day to get to school (because of traffic), and 5 hours to get back (because of even more traffic), since that would mean waking up at 3, and going to bed at like midnight, since I have to do homework and all that. So what I do is board. Which, if you don't know, means living away from your family to make it easier for you to go to school.
Now you might think: 'Wow, that's great! You have indepencence, you're not under your parents roof, you can do anything you want, you don't have to go to bed at midnight and wake up 3 hours later!' Well, let me just give you a reminder. I'm 14. 14. I'm still literally halfway through puberty. Which means I'm still a kid, still dumb, still can't make my own desicions. So all the stuff mentioned before might be nice.. If I was capable of taking full care of myself. Which, let me tell you for a fact, I am 100% not capable of that. Not on my LIFE.
So all of those things turn into stuff like responsibilities that I can't exactly take care of alone, the stress is piling up on me from school work plus my piano practicing that I need to take care of, I need to make time to talk with the family, plus my grandfather died earlier this year, and it has been having a VERY negative effect on my workflow. I'm starting to wonder if I should give up. Everything in my life is just crumbling down. I keep telling everybody I'm Okay, thinking that I truly am. But now I know that I've been lying this whole time.
A/N: Well how's that for a prologue lol.. I'm gonna have fun writing this book.. 😏😁
YOU ARE READING
I'm OK
General FictionThis book is about a 14 year old boy, called Elijah Thomas (no my name's not Elijah Thomas), who is having troubles in his life. He needs to find away to fix himself before it's too late..
