Six Years

Getting Help

My sister Shandalyn walked into the house one day. "Good god. Ellie, when's the last time you cleaned this place?" I was being lazy and laying on the couch. "That's a really good question." I told her. She looked around."Where's my neice? Suffocating under a pile of dirty clothes?" I laughed weakly. "Shes in her clean crib, down for a nap." she came and sat on the couch. "When's the last time you ate? You look so anorexic." I sighed. "I haven't had a good stable meal in 3 weeks. I've had some snacks every once on awhile." she sighed in disappointment. "Ellie I know you're upset and broken, but you need to eat. If you won't do it for yourself. Do it for your daughter." I scoffed. "I hate my child. She's nothing but a burden to me." Shandalyn smacked my leg quite hard. "Don't you dare say that. She is your daughter." I sat up. "Should've killed her when he left me." Shandalyn got so angry with me.

"Don't act like this. You wanted a daughter. Now you have one. Her father may be gone, but you still have her. You have every right to be angry and heartbroken for what he did. She is helpless she depends on you to care for her." I swallowed the knot in my throat. "Fine."

She huffed and got up and started cleaning my home. Later in the evening she made me a homemade meal. One of my favourites. Mashed potato's, steak and asparagus. I ate it all. I was hungry. She fed my daughter while I ate. She spoke soft to me. "I get it. You're broken apart. Let me stay here to help you. You guys met in highschool when you were 17...now your 32 and married. It's going to take a long time to heal." I nodded. "Thank you."

Little did she know I was starting to suffer from depression. She was right. While she watched the baby one die I want to see the doctor. They gave me medication for it. I started getting my life back on track after that.
It's just really hard without Michael.