Nobody Gotta Know

Sorry • 4

the wind blows my hair gently.
the park lamps sparkles beautifully.
the lake shines, reflecting the city lights.
he holds me sideways.

i pull him to lay down on the grass, and stares at the moonlight. i started the conversation.

"i wonder- does true love really exists?" i asked. I DON'T KNOW WHY I ASKED THAT. IT'LL MAKE THE SITUATION AWKWARD.
"it does exist. like romeo and juliet?" he replied.
i smile and nod.
"you know, sometimes i have some thoughts in my head too." he said.
"like what?"
"you"
"me?"
he smiles. "i know this is kind of weird. we used to be close as friends. but i don't know.. this strange feeling keep coming,.. and i realize— i think i love you."

i froze. i think about what we've been through all this time. we fight, we love, we share, we laughed..

"i know that you don't have that feeling for me. but i'm glad that i've confessed it to you. i feel that my weight on my chest is gone little by little."

i am really confused right now. i don't know what to say. i don't want to hurt his feelings.

"look Jo. You know i love you. but i'm sorry i still didn't have that feelings for you. i still have to grow it a little longer." i said carefully.

"i know, i know. it's okay." he said it with a smile.
he can't run and hide.
i heard a dissapointed note when he said that. i know his feelings are broke right now. but i also can't impose my feelings. i, my self, still not sure who am i into.

"hey guys." said Jack. he lay on the grass beside me. "oops did i interrupt something?"
"no, no it's okay Jack. we're just talking about how you guys will be in the next few years." i said, trying to cover up our previous conversation.
i see Jonah's face, reflecting his sadness.
"oh shit. we're going to have a lot more family members!" Jack said.
Jonah fake a laugh.

after many conversations later

we decided to go back to the hotel, the clock is already pointing at 9 p.m.
i go to the bathroom and change my clothes to my pajamas. i'm wearing a grey pajama with a silver heart in the middle.

Jonah has gone to bed earlier than me and Daniel. I can't keep this by myself. I have to tell someone.

I pull Daniel to go out to the balcony. I shut the door. I told him about everything that just happened at me and Jonah.

"can you keep this secret for me?" i asked.

"of course al." he smiled at me.

at least.. i have a person to share a story with right? even though he's my brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"can i stay here?" i asked. i'm really tired. i just want to stay in the hotel.
"are you sure you don't want to see me perform tonight?" ask Daniel. ugh.
"sure, but i'm dizzy right now. i need more sleep." i answered.

oh by the way, i haven't talk to Jonah yet since last night. i feel really awkward with this kind of situation. i also don't know what to do, so i decided to just shut my mouth up. maybe he needs more time to recover his mood.

"okay then. it's up to you" Daniel answered.
i smiled. he's the best.

i decided to take a shower.

"we have to go now Al, you know.. rehearsals.." Daniel said while wearing his shoes.
"oh-- okay then. See you later"
he leave with Jonah and shuts the door.

i opened my phone and check my twitter.

****************************************

   Jonah • WHY DONT WE
  @ jonahmarais

It hurts because it matters.

08/11/2017      23:08
___________________________________
1783 Retweets 14,8K Likes

BessonBesson
@ omgcorbs
are you okaaay Jonah? :(

danielcv
@ ilovedan
what happened?

*****************************************

oh god. i really hurt his feelings. i'm really really sorry Jo. i didn't meant to hurt you.

no,no i have to get away from this. i decided to play musics from my laptop. i pressed shuffle play.

Baby i, i wanna know
what you think when you're alone.
is it me yeah? are you thinking of me yeah?

we've been friends now for a while,
wanna know that when you smile,
is it me yeah? are you thinking of me yeah?

no freaking way. even the song is making me feel even more and more guilty?

i have to go to their concert venue tonight. i can't. i have to talk with him. i feel really bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's 5 p.m right now. i've changed my clothes and packed my things. i have to hurry before they got on stage.

i've arrived at the venue. i run to the back stage.

"oooff! i'm sorry sir." shit, i accidentally bump into someone's chest.

"it's okay-- Al? You decided to come?" it's Jack! oh thank god.

"Do you know where Jonah is?" i asked.

"oh- he's still in his room getting ready."

"okay thank you Noods. gotta go."

i head myself to his makeup room. and knock the door.

he opens the door.

i hug him. tight. "i'm sorry Jonah. i'm sorry for being such a jerk last night. i'm sorry for every pain i put you into. i'm sorry for not noticing you this whole time. i'm sorry i've lied to Jack last night. i'm sorry for not talking to you this morning. i'm sorry because--"

he hugs me back. "it's okay princess. i'm okay."

"i-i'm really sorry for everything." i said.

"yes princess, yes. don't cry. i'm happy if you're happy. so don't be sad. put a smile on your face." he said, lifting my chin so now that i'm facing him. he wipes my tears away with his bare hands.

"come on, smile for me. you look ugly with your tears." he said.

i smiled. "thank you for forgiving me prince."
he looked a little shocked when i said that. he's blushing.

"now let's go. you shouldn't be late." i pull his hands to the meeting room to gather with the others.