English is not my first language, I'm sorry in advance.
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When I had my first existential crisis I thought that it was something unique, never did I think that I'll be suffering from them all throughout this year.
I first experimented it last year, when I thought I've finally discovered what love was. I thought I was in love with my best friend, but now that I think about it, I was never in love with him. I was in love with the idea of finally getting to know someone that could understand me, I was wrong about that as well.
Also, why would I be that stupid to set up that boy with another girl? I don't consider myself a "good girl", and I'm not talking about that bullshit you can read in Wattpad (no offence I love them as well), I don't do kind things at least not that I'm aware. So why would I set them up? My first hypothesis is that I like to suffer, I like to feel sad. I think that sadness is the most unique feeling, not because it's nice but because your perspective and thoughts turn more rational than in an euphoric mode.
With this rationality newly-discovered my sadness turned into what Jean-Paul Sartre would refer to Existentialism. Why am I here if I can't even accomplish the simple task of falling in love? Why I'm always trying to hide myself with a mask of another person? And most importantly, why am I that afraid of letting another person in?
You know when growing up they tell you that life is supposed to go one way, fall in love marry and have children. What if my dream is to be successful but the term success is neither of those things?
Why am I so keen on being sad? Why would I'd rather people feel intimidated by me than happy?
Hey my name is Dom, short of Dominique-Lean Marie.
YOU ARE READING
NUMB
Teen FictionDoesn't it get boring? Watching people as they express their happiness, their love, their understanding. How can I not be like them? I mean I could if I wanted, but why would I want to feel nothing and everything at the same time?
