MCU x Reader Stories

(1) Bucky Barnes x Reader ~ More Than I Deserve {Song Fic}

A/N: First Marvel fic of this new book!! \(*'꒳'*)/
Song is provided above; the lyrics are embedded into the story. It's a beautiful song, and I hope you all think so too.
Word count: 1567

Livin' with me, it ain't easy
But I do it every day
And sometimes even now
I wanna run away

Lying in bed is James Buchanan Barnes, also known as the former Winter Soldier. He, no matter how hard he has tried to, cannot fall asleep. Thousands of thoughts plague his mind. There have been countless of nights similar to this one. Bucky always finds himself contemplating about his life and current situation.

For the past few months, he has been holed up in a small, shabby, abandoned apartment complex with nothing but a beaten up mattress, his girlfriend, and some spare change he'd found underneath the mattress. Every day has been a difficult battle. Not only does he struggle to obtain food for himself and (Y/n), but he also struggles to keep the nightmares and flashbacks of his unwilling participation with HYDRA.

But there you are
You're tryin' to please me
And you stand your ground
That's more than I deserve

Watching (Y/n) sleep beside him, curled up and lost in a peaceful slumber, tugs at his heartstrings. It pains his heart to think of the dangers she could be put in. With her at his side, (Y/n)'s life is at risk every second. Such a dangerous risk makes Bucky wonder why she had thrown away everything in her life to be with him, why she gave up her job with a decent salary, loving family, and the home she had bought not even a year ago.

Thoughts storm around in his mind. Questions such as 'Why does she love me? I'm nothing but a monster...' and 'Why is she putting herself in danger just to stay with me?' are thrown at his exhausted brain. The super soldier only sees himself as a threat to others, especially to those he holds close and dearly to his heart.

I've taken more than I've been givin'
I've taken for granted this life I'm livin'
I don't know why heaven above
Blessed me with your sweet love
I know I never tell you what you're worth
That's 'cause it's more than I deserve.

Ever since he escaped from HYDRA, Bucky has been asking for a lot from (Y/n) without paying her back in any acceptable method. In order to survive from the organization that had transformed him into the soldier he despises, he uprooted all the normality in life and threw it into an abyss and never turned back. (Y/n) has nothing left in her life but her boyfriend, who could possibly relapse into the mindset of the Winter Soldier.

Guilt piles onto his shoulders continuously with no signs of stopping.

It's just your style to wear a smile
Oh baby, you wear it well
If I had my way I'd dress you in nothin' else
So come on here and lay down, a little while
'Cause you right now
You're more than I deserve

A soft groan and tugging on the hem of his shirt pulls Bucky out of his self-criticism. Her drowsy face is illuminated by the small beams of moonlight that manage to sneak through the cracks of the boarded up windows, evoking a loving smile from him.

"Why are you still awake," (Y/n)'s gravely voice inquires, her eyes struggling to stay open as the blink heavily, exhaustion weighing them down.

Bucky instantly feels guilty. Though he is not to blame for awakening her, he berates himself for causing his girlfriend to become the shell of the woman he loves. Running away from an evil organization has taken a huge toll on her health and overall well-being.