Wasted Years [Andy AU]

1

1 - "Monique is unique"

I looked at my nails, picking some dirt out. "Monique!", mom scolded me. "Stop picking your nails in public. You look like an idiot". I lifted my gaze and said something I probably would regret. "You mad?" I made a clicking noise with my tongue. Keeping a straight face, I continued. "or nah?". Mom looked baffled before she leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Monique...you're not on drugs, right?". A crooked smile find its way on my face before I burst out laughing. "Yes ma, I take ecstasy" I sarcastically replied. Mom leaned back and smiled, shaking her head. "Ma, I have a really weird question to ask you". Oh no, here it comes. It's the time of the week. Mom leaned in seeing the 'serious' look on my face. "What? You know you can tell me everything, right?"

Leaning in further, ignoring the fact that my mom hadn't brush her teeth this morning and her gum wasn't helping, I whispered loudly before pointing at her shoes. "What are thooooose?" I cracked up laughing, mom still looking confused. Ah, rest in peace Vine. "I told Derek to check your contacts once a month, but no he wouldn't listen to me. Now I got you here, on...on some form of drug." I froze. "You were the one who told Derek to check my phone?" I said wincing. I'm sorry for breaking your nose, Derek. You see, Derek is my older brother. He's the biggest idiot of all time and more immature than me, but somehow my mom see him as the responsible one out of us two. Why? I don't know either.

"Of course! You nearly pounced on me last time I tried." She looked at me suspiciously, "why?" I smiled innocently, my voice coming out an octave higher as I answer. "Nothing." Mom didn't look completely convinced, but dropped the subject as her ride came down the street., That left me at the local bus station waiting on the school bus. "Hey babe." Collin greeted my mom with a kiss as I tried to remove the mental image of them kissing from my head. "Ma, ask your boyfriend to keep it PG, we don't want to rate my story R." Mom looked at me weirdly. "What do you mean?" I looked at her confused. "Wait what?" She looked at me for a few seconds and then shook her head before hopping in Collins car. "She didn't even say goodbye", I mutter to myself, adjusting the strings of my backpack.

Ten minutes of complete boredom later, the bus rolled in. They see me rollin', they hatin'. Gosh, I really need to stay of the internet. Quickly walking in I greeted the bus driver. "God morning, m'lady...man". Good save. "Good morning Monique. Go sit down.", the bus driver rolled his eyes and pointed at the seat in the far back corner. "Ouch, and I thought you were warming up to me!" I turned around dramatically to empathize the point. I took a seat in the front just to annoy the bus driver some more and started singing as he started the engine. "99 bottles of pop on the wall, 99 bottles of pop. Take one down and pass it around. 98 bottles of pop on the wall...". Five minutes passed and I was on the last part of the song. "One bottle of pop on the wall, one bottle of pop. Take it down and pass it around. No more bottles to count!" I felt a little parched so I opened my backpack and took out my water bottle. "Finally! She's finally silent! Praise the lord, if she continued I would've jumped out of the f***ing window".

I quickly gulped down some water while smirking, causing it to spill down my shirt. Why? I just wanted to look cool! I heard the engine come to a halt and closed the cap on my water bottle, quickly putting it in my backpack. "Goodbye mister bus driver. Same time tomorrow?" I stood close to the door, smiling innocently. The bus driver groaned and I took that as my cue to leave. Walking towards the front doors, I internally groaned. I forgot to do my math homework. Mr. Leighton will kill me! He has a personal grudge against me ever since the talent show three years ago, like it wasn't my fault at all! His daughter had hiked her skirt so high up I could see her panties. I was doing her a favour. I really need to make sure the microphone is off the next time I give advice. I shuffled to my class. Yes, shuffled. Take notes, kids. Opening the door to my nightmare, I yelled out my signature line. "What's up, people? The part-ay has arrived!" I froze as I uncovered the scene in front of me. The only two people in the classroom was...half-naked. Now, most people would've ran out while apologizing, but I mean...we have already established that I'm not 'most people'. I'm Monique and 'Monique is unique'. I'll stop.

Where was I. Oh, got it. As they both turned to face me, lips swollen and eyes red, I did what I normally would do. "Ahh! My virgin eyes have seen such impurity! I mean I read some smut on Wattpad from time to time, but I never visualize it!" I stopped and stared at the two specimens in the classroom. "Does anyone of you have bleach?", I asked trying to get rid of the mental image that somehow kept popping up, no matter how many times I tried to focus on other things. I mean it's hard when you just take a quick glance at them getting on it., but when they refuse to take on their clothes and just stare confused at you, it's even harder. "I NEED TO BLEACH MY PURE EYES!", and with that I ran out of the classroom. Hearing the door close and lock, I look at my watch. Yes people, an actual watch. Not some phone or digital watch. The clock showed me that I came to school half an hour too soon. No wonder they were getting on it. I really need to bleach my eyes.

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Word count: 1035

Hey guys!

I woke up today with horrible cramps and was supposed to have P.E

BUT I actually had permission to just change the workout music bc I could barely walk...so yay! I laughed while everyone did ab-excersices...

Anyways, this is my attempt on a funny (& punny) story XD

Have a nice day/night! Byeee :)

Mo xx