Eridan Ampora is Not Gay

Haha oh god hello Wattpad. It's been a while!

This is for you Lee, cause I said if write for you today.

~*~

Eridan Ampora wasn't gay. He was into girls, of course! Not gay, nope. Now only if he could convince Karkat of that.

"Kar, I'm tellin ya, I'm not gay."

"Eridan gog damn it, you're gay."

"I am not!"

"Look at yourself. You're so feminine it hurts. I'm pretty sure that you're in love with Sollux and fuck I see when you stare at my ass, nooksucker. You're a 'hipster', you're always going off about how you're fucking royalty, your hair is just plain stupid, you wear a shitton of jewelry, and your lusus is a fucking seahorse. A SEAHORSE, ERIDAN." Eridan groaned.

"For the last time Kar, I swear I'm not gay."

"Gay."

"Kar-"

"GAY."

"Bu-"

"GAY, GAY, FIERCE, YOU GAY FIERCE TRANNY, YOU TRANNY BITCH." Karkat let out an angered breath. "I'm bringing Sollux in here, and leaving. If you do anything you better fucking clean it up or I'll end you." Eridan raised an eyebrow as he watched Karkat storm out, and watched Sollux walk in. Tall, lanky, geeky but badass, and totally sex-- What. What was that thought. Eridan fucking Ampora, no. You're not gay.

"-gay." Sollux finished.

"Wwhat?"

"Wait, were you paying attention to ANY of that?"

"No." Sollux groaned.

"Lithen athhole, KK thent me in here to thet you thraight. You're obviouthly gay. And here'th a thecret. I'm bithexual." Eridan blinked a few times, wide-eyed. Had Sollux just said what he thought he did? Sollux just continued to glare at him. "You heard me. Tho are you going to tell me the truth now, or what." Eridan blinked a few times before answering.

"I'm not gay."