Stand Back, Watch it Burn

Chapter 1

She died on a Tuesday in mid January. There was a beautiful service for her that Friday. I smoked two packs that day, and still couldn't calm my nerves and figure out how to explain to Teddy why he can't go to Nana's house. How do I explain to him that he's never going to see her again, or that she's not going to be there for his birthday, or that he's going to live with me from now on? I love him too much to break his heart like that.

I walk back into Grimauld Place to talk with guests. Teddy pads up with Draco in tow, "Hawy! I misses you! You smell funny. What wong?"

I put on a fake smile, "It's nothing, buddy. Who's this behind you?"

"Dwayco, he's my best fwiend," the child replies with a giant smile.

I fake offended, "I thought I was your best friend." I glance up and meet eyes with a pair of powerful, grey eyes that are unmistakably Malfoy's.

"Of course not, Potter. I'm his best friend," Malfoy states with a grin. "I bought him a broom."

I smirk, "Hey Teddy, do you wanna show Draco your play room?"

The boy's face lights up as he leads the way to the double doors. I help him open the doors and watch Malfoy's jaw drop at the sight of the playroom. The walls are painted light blue with an accent wall that is completely covered in brooms. They range from children's brooms, to ones big enough Hagrid could ride them. Old and new makes and models, any broom you could think of, including my Firebolt.

"Wow..." Malfoy whispers under his breath.

Teddy holds up a tiny broom, "Look Dwayco, Hawy got me broom too!"

"How much did you spend on this room, Potter?" Malfoy inquires. "The wall of brooms itself would cost a pretty sickle, let alone all the toys in here."

"Anything for my favorite godson," I wink at the toddler.

After everyone left, I took Teddy upstairs to go to bed. We lay on his small bed as I read him a story. As he starts to doze off, I lean down and kiss his forehead, "Goodnight, little man. I love you with all my heart."

"Hawy," he mumbles.

"Yes, buddy?"

"Do you think Nana will do cheesy noodles tomorrow?"

I pause, and look down at him with sadness in my eyes, "I don't think she can, bud, but I'll make you some if that's okay."

He nods in response, "I love you, Hawy."

I remember the first time I had lunch with with Andromeda. It was a week after I had returned from my travels. She wanted to hear everything, but I couldn't find the words to explain any of it. I was searching for something, anything to take the pain away. I started smoking because at least I could destroy something along with myself. Andromeda lectured me about it for over an hour before she simply told me I was not to smoke around her grandson and he's not to know about my smoking. The she told me all the crazy things Sirius had done to get a hold of cigarettes while still at Hogwarts. He even went so far as to try seducing different teachers into buying them for him. She told me about all the stories she heard about Sirius and my father getting detention, and how my long hair at the time reminded her of Sirius.

I cut my hair the next day.

When she saw it, she said it reminded her of a frat boy haircut, and I couldn't help but laugh. She spiked the front for me and said it would look better if it were longer in the back. Once I grew it out, she showed me how to style it so it looked "wind blown," her words, not mine. That is how I have styled my hair ever since though. It is a lot more mature than the bird nest I had all throughout school.

It's funny how one small thing can change your life. One missed step, one accidental spell, or one death can change everything.

I settle down in my study with a book, but I can't focus on the words in front of me. I can see the words, but they don't have any meaning, my mind keeps wondering back to Sunday brunches with Meda, what I would ask her if I could, what I would tell her.

"How am I supposed to raise him?" I whisper to myself. "I have no idea what I am doing, and no jumping off point to go with. I need help. What if Draco comes and takes Teddy away? How am I supposed to live with that?"

I'm broken out of my thoughts when I feel the wards signal that someone is coming. I get up and walk down the hall and poke my head in Teddy's room to make sure he is still asleep before I make my way downstairs. Right as I reach the bottom of the stair a knock sounds at the door.

"One moment, please," I state as I make my way across the foyer to the door. I look through the peephole to see a well dressed, fit man with platinum blond hair. I roll my eyes before I finally open the door, "Malfoy, what're you doing here?"

"Nice of you to open the door," he states an air of annoyance. "I'm here to get Teddy."

"He's asleep, if you want to see him, come before his bed time," I reply courtly.

The blond rolls his bright grey eyes, "It's barely eight at night. Why is he already in bed?"

"His bedtime is 7:30, Meda's rules." Malfoy mumbles something about that changing soon under his breath. "What was that? You know, it is impolite to mumble under your breath while engaging in conversation. Anyways, that will not be changing soon seeing as he is not even 3 years old yet, he should not be up much later than 7:30. As long as he is not in school, and living under my roof that will be his bed time."

"That is until he lives with me," Malfoy states.

I pause, "What do you mean by that? He lives with me Malfoy, and will continue to live with me until he is of age to move out. He can stay with you whenever he likes."

"That's why I am here, Potter," he pushes past me into the foyer. "Thanks for inviting me inside. Anyways, I am here to get Teddy. He's going to be living with me from now on."

"Like hell he is," I state with less confidence than I'd like as I shut the door. "I'm his godfather, Malfoy, you can't just come and take him."

"Actually, Potter," he sates with the confidence only a Malfoy could have, "Teddy's parents never filed those papers. That's why Aunt Andromeda was his legal guardian for the past two years. Also, godparents only get custody of the child if not family members step up and offer to raise the child. Seeing as I am his cousin, I can claim guardianship of him and you have no say in it."

My heart drops, "No, I'll do everything in my power to keep him. There's no way you're taking him from me."

"You can come visit him whenever you like."

"You don't understand, I know you have no sense of family but he's my family. He's the only family I have, you can't just take my son from me. I won't let you," I fumed.

"Godson," Malfoy corrects.

"That's beside the point. He's staying with me and that's final," I snap.

Malfoy turns and walks out the door, "I'll be here tomorrow at noon, that should give you a sufficient amount of time to gather his things." Then he apparates out in a whirl of snow.

Once he's gone I sit down on the front step and all of my defenses fall. "No," I whisper into the night as I fumble with a pack of cigarettes and try to fight back the tears. "This can't be happening."