No Matter What

Part 4

Xxx

Come along with me and don't be scared

You had just breached the doors of the large building that housed Derek's loft, throwing them both wide open carelessly as you barged straight through, slowing your stride once you stepped over the threshold and into the parking lot, all but coming to a stop, when you heard quick footsteps just a few feet behind your own, mirroring your abrupt halt of movement.

Your breathing was fast, coming in quick spurts, just like your frantic heart rate, and you let out a sigh to try and calm them all down. The words came out on the breath of air, sounding exasperated. "What do you want, Derek?" You said it to the empty space in front of you, not wanting to turn and face him again just yet. Scanning the edge of the lot vacantly, you waited on his answer.

"I think you're scared." His voice was strong, confident, but there was that tiny little bit of caring he only let show for a few, that little sliver of softness that was your downfall every time.

Well not this time.

You snorted a laugh, turning to look at him now, scoffing before your face turned into a sarcastic sneer. "Oh yeah? Of what?"

"Of living." He didn't miss a beat. And damn he hit close to home. You hated it when he did that. He was silent, but was always watching, and he knew things you could only wish to someday learn.

Okay maybe this time.

Staring at him with an emotionless glare, snapping your jaw shut, your lips a tight thin line, you let your arms fall down to your sides with a loud slap in defeat, where they just dangled limply, unable to aid you any further in this argument.

Silence hung heavily in the air, so much so, until you couldn't take it anymore and all but popped it with a double edged sword. "So what do I do about it, Derek? Huh?" Your shoulders rose in a shrug, showing their agreeance with your words before falling back down quickly, your stare still leveled on him. "Tell me how to not be afraid. Because frankly, I'm terrified." You found yourself biting your bottom lip to keep it from trembling unexpectedly. "Everyday." Your eyes began to water along with the downcast turn your lips were taking, catching you completely by surprise, that third, unknown presence in your mind rearing it's ugly head again, and trying to push to the surface. It felt like it had the potential to make things so much easier, but at the same time, add an entire new level of shit to deal with.

"Just, tell me, Derek. Because I am completely at a loss here." The tears began to fall. "I'm scared of myself, despite everything, at the end of the day, I'm scared of myself, and that needs to stop now."

I just wanna set you free

"Once you get control, it'll be easier for you. It's not so scary when you know you have a handle on it."

You rolled your eyes. "Derek, it's not that simple. On a basic level, we as a species are terrifying. We can do some pretty bad shit."

"Just because we're predators, doesn't mean we're killers-"

You laughed a wet, sarcastic laugh, screwing your eyes shut. "Don't feed me that shit again, Derek. Not again." Opening your eyes to look into his, you knew it was a low blow, but it drove your point home. "You have blue eyes, Derek. You of all people should know to be afraid of what we are."

He looked hurt for only a moment, before pain from the memories took hold, then an altogether defiant look came over his features, his shoulders squared, his spine straightened, and the glint in his eye was back. Derek was back, and he wasn't letting either of you go down without a fight, metaphorically or physically.