On the harder days, I lay down in my bed, look up at the ceiling and think about every single thing that makes me hate myself
From my body to my personality, everything is to change
I realised I mean nothing to the ones I care about
My friends tell me I’m skinny but I can’t help but see things in another light
The rare minutes I dare to look in the mirror, I see a huge and annoying girl
All of the times I thought about making myself puke are playing over again in my head as I try to accept the fact that it’s not useful
That even if I lose everything I ever ate, I can’t throw up my ideas and forget about them for good
I’m fighting a war against my own head and believe me, it has made a mess
To be fair, I myself am a complete mess
Every time I pick up the broken pieces, they shatters in my hand cutting down lines that I used to draw by myself
I like to compare my mind to a quiet lake while my anxiety is a tsunami of feelings that I don’t wanna feel
That my depression and suicidal thoughts are the thousand clouds that hide my only chance to see the sunshine ever again
And that the only thing I can do is wait for the storm to pass
_MadAsMyMind
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Poems, Texts And Anecdotes Defining Me
PoetryThese will be simple texts where I let my feelings show. I will talk about what it is to live with anxiety and self harming for me. I am extremely sorry if I make any mistakes, I'm French :)
