Forever

Chapter 2

At 11:00 am, Mom knocked on my door and told me I had to get up or I wouldn't fall asleep the next night. Yeah. Whatever Mom, you can follow that stupid theory. I doubted I would even fall asleep tonight even if I had gotten up at 5:00 am. I guess I didn't sleep well at all last night either. I kept dreaming the same thing, over and over.

Mom opened the door and pulled the curtains open. I squinted because the sun was extrememly bright. Mom sat down on the edge of the bed and I knew what was coming next. She wanted to talk about it, about last night. Talking about it wouldn't help, and I just felt uneasy talking about it with her. I quickly bolted out of bed and ran to the door.

"I'm going to make uh...um...waffles for breakfast!" I suggested after hesitation, trying to find an excuse to not talk.

"Sweetie we ran out of flour. If you want to make waffles your going to have to pop by the store." Mom explained, coming into the hallway.

"Great!" I said, darting back to my bedroom to get dressed. If I could avoid having to talk about what happened then maybe I wouldn't have to worry so much. "I mean- not great but I can go get some exercise at the same time while I get the flour." I added.

Mom reluctanly left and I got changed into a pair of grey sweats, a sky blue tank top, and a black wool sweater.

I put my hair into a messy bun- a seriously messy one- and grabbed some money from my wallet and walked out the door.

The cool air felt nice and I strolled down the side walk feeling relaxed-just for a moment. The feeling doesn't stay long because when I entered Target, I passed by the cutlery section to get the flour and I just keep seeing the knife.

The image is flashing in my mind as if she was right infront of me, I still feel shocked, unable to understand. Why would she do that? Why does life have to make people want to leave?

I grabbed the flour and went to the cash register. I handed her a crumpled 5 dollar note and left the store. I crossed the street and  tunred the corner anxiously, expecting to find someone else, about to die, right in front of me. But none of that happened. I just kept imagining it.

At 12:30, after making all the waffles, yet only eating a few bites, I attempted to work on my History essay about WW2 and conclusive results. I barely managed to finish a paragraph, and I kept getting distracted.

At 4:15, Mom walked into my bedroom and I knew this was it. The conversation. Honey are you okay? Are you scared? Is there anyting you want to say? I was sure it was going to be something cheesey like that.

I was totally unprepared for what she actually did though, and I'm starting to think: Mom could actually be a good therapist, or councellor.

1) Mom entered the room and handed me a sheet of paper. "Draw it. Draw everything. What happened. How you feel. You don't have to talk. It just might help to get it all out." She had said slowly.

2) I picked up the paper and drew everything. I drew her, I drew the knife...I drew me...standing behind. I drew with black, and dark colours. I scriblled: why? around the corners. I kept writing it over and over again. Then I drew muddled faces, sad ones, scared ones, worried ones, perplexed ones. I felt like a little kid. I remember once, a teacher in K2 got me to draw a picture of how I felt when a kid teased me and I pushed them. I drew an angry face. I guess I was kind of mad at her aswell... Mad at her for doing this to everyone...

3) Mom didn't make fun of my doodles, she just reached over and hugged me, and it felt nice. I grabbed her tightly and didn't let go, just enjoying the comfort.

4) Then Mom let go and some pretty inspiration words. "Sweetie. I have no idea why she would do that. But everyone has problems in life. Everybody has bad days. I think she'll be okay, it will take time. Honey, be grateful for the obstacles in your life. They have strengthened you as you continue with your journey."

I was totally suprised. Especially with Mom's words of wisdom. And it actually did help. I felt a little better. 

"Mom?" I asked

"Yeah?"  

"Thanks for the words. They really made a differenece. You should write that down somewhere." I stated.

Mom smiled kind of guilty like. 

"Ok, confession. I picked up that quote from a site that was called quotes-lover.com. Sorry. But I thought it was clever. I'm not the genius quote Mom." She explained.

"Wow, that just bursted my bubble." I joked.

Mom ruffled my hair. "Go be you!" She said in a silly way.

 

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Hope you're enjoying the book so far :)

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Sincerely,

The crazy spectacular wacky random unique and one and only,

lanamei9 (or simply you could say: Plain old Me.)