I love you //brolby

✖️fourteen✖️

Colby's POV

I left Brennens house, my mind wouldn't shut up I don't know what happened I woke up so happy and everything and all the sudden I just feel sad and just a mess.

          Time skip to the house

I opened the doors hearing laughing and screaming everyone is happy everyone is there unlike me I'm there physically but not mentally I walked to the stairs but I hear Elton yell "sooo what happened at brennens, actually I'm sure I already know" he teased but that just set me off "no Elton nothing like that fucking happened Jesus Christ" I say storming off to my room and slamming the door.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I just have a normal life? Why do I have to love someone that is slowly destroying me In a way? Why does no one see the pain? Why does no one look in my eyes and look at the hurt? I don't even hide it anymore, I mean why would they care? I'm just a Burden on everyone I'm sure they would be perfectly fine without me. Why was I even born? Why am I alive? I don't know how much more I can handle. Thy would be okay without me right? I mean sam has kat Elton has Amanda and Corey as devyn and Brennen always has girls throw themselves at him he would have no probably moving on I mean C'mon he's probably doing this out of pity he's straight I mean He still begs for a girlfriend even though he has me like even if you don't want our relationship to be public you could at least stop that.

At this point I'm just pacing I'm not crying I'm not sad I'm frustrated with myself, I see all these people that are happy and living their life all happy well damit why can't i?

I threw a book that was close by on the ground and huffed, I sat on the edge of my bed and put my face in my hands " Jesus" I said out loud and looking up staring blankly at a wall. My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door "what do any of you want" I say harshly I look over and see sam walk in I stand up still slightly far away from him " what do You want, sam" I say staring at him not showing any emotions "why are you mad?" He said raising his eyebrows "nothing" I say sitting down on my bed again, he crossed his arms and looked at me with that yeah okay I'm not stupid look I sighed slightly irritated "it's just I don't think I'm good enough for what I have i feel like Brennen could do so so much better then something so ugly inside and out as me, when I walk into the house and hear everyone laughing and screaming it makes me just feel like 'why can't I be that happy' ya know? Sometimes I feel like everything and everyone would be better off without me..... and I know your gonna say 'no no that's not true' but anyone in the right mind would nobody would say 'yeah go fuck your self' even if that's what thy were thinking! I just wanna be normal sam! I just wanna fucking be normal!!" I kinda yell I look at sam who is now sitting on couch in my room, you can never really tell what his emotions Are until he talks so i don't know what he's thinking "Colby, just No we all want you here and I'm not lying not even a little Brennen I can't speak for him but I'm sure he loves you just as much as you love him and you are normal in your own way." He finished. I don't know if he's lying or not "I don't know I just...." I sigh not exactly knowing what to say "what Colby" he says concerned "I just want it all to stop I want the world to stop like I wish I could put life on pause but forever, or at least until everything is better" I say sighing and putting my hands in my face "Colby don't say things like that everything will be better in time, I promise" he said taking my hand away from my face and holding it "sam Golboch promise?" I asked him, he used to always promise things and they always happened he was like magic "yes, sam Golboch promise" he says smiling "thank you" I say pulling him into a hug, he pulled away first which was unusual but I didn't question it "well I should be going, Katrina and I have a date" I mentally rolled my eyes but acted like I was happy "yep alright dude, see ya later" I say smiling a waving as he shut the door.

I lay down on my bed just thinking about things but then of course the voices started

You do realize he's lying right?
Nobody wants you here you just annoy people.
I mean look at yourself, fat, gross faggot, alone, sleep deprived. Who would want that?
Brennen probably doesn't care about you, just so you know

I almost cried because everything they say are true, but I knew I was supposed to call brennen when they started so I did.

Brennen's POV

(Earlier in the day)
C: hey baby, How are you today?

I didn't know how to reply I mean yes okay Corinna and I are or were or I don't know but we dated or dating I haven't told her yet I don't know if I want to either

B: good, and you?
C: I'm pretty good I was wondering if maybe i could come to your place and maybe hang out... or do something a little more fun....

I read over her text a few times I decided on yes I know I shouldn't but I mean I can't help myself right now

B: okay, can't wait..

After about 15 minutes she knocked on my door I let her in with a smile, this is wrong

Colby's POV
(Present time)

I called Brennen multiple times but no answer one or two time he even sent me to voicemail I think.

I'm probably just being annoying he shouldn't have to deal with me.

I lie on my bed and let tears run down my cheeks. Why can't I be good enough.

Maybe I should just go over there?

Maybe

I will.

Time skip
I arrive at Brennens house I take a deep breath and walk to his door, I knock a few times but get no answer, his truck is here? I'll just let myself in no biggy right, wrong

I opened the door I first I didn't hear anything but as I got a little closer to the bedroom I heard moans but female moans by heart sank and broke in to 3879292948 pieces, I walked a little closer a pushed the door open. Sure enough I was right I saw Brennen look at me his face when pale I just walked away ignoring all the Colby no's and it's not what it looks like, what else could it be he was cheating on me, the voices were right once again, I don't know if I can handle the pain anymore and I mean it this time.

Time skip

I walked into my room and closed the door, I slid down it putting my face in my knees and just cried

How could he?

IM SORRY GUYS PLZ DONT KILL ME! DONT WORRY THE STORT ISNT OVER I JUST THOUGT ID ADD SOME MORE DRAMA