December night

Black Velvet

Under construction. Try to ignore the grammatical mistakes. Enjoy!

THE RESURRECTION.

I couldn't move a single step. I know that I needed to turn around and ran as far away as I can. Yet my mind refused to comprehend any command. I was clearly in shook. It wasn't until a hand pulled me back and I could feel the hot breath on my neck,

"Aren't you coming inside?"

I pushed him and started running. Ignoring his callings, refusing to notice those laughter. With all my strength I ran away from that horrid place.

This is all just a nightmare. This is all just a nightmare. I was hallucinating this. This was not real.

I didn't stopped until my building was in front of me. My keys were shaking and I failed in unlocking the door, so I just sat in front of it. Anger. Frustration. Humiliation. Helplessness. How can one feel so many emotions at once? In all that I woke up the blaming alter. I went inside the apartment. Into the kitchen.

"That nasty bitch is still alive inside of you." I took the knife from the rack.

"You still are that same old fucking whore." I opened the door of bathroom.

"Your are still not clean!" I took handful of hairs and started chopping them off.

Clip. Clip. Clip.

"You deserve to die. Why don't you die Thalia?" I could see my reflection in the mirror and it broke my heart. I was looking at a scared child. Those eyes were oozing water. They were looking everywhere afraid who might jump from back. Their was strange pleading in them. They were desperately searching for security. Refusing to be kind, I wiped those tears away.

"You are a bad, sinful person. Even hell isn't enough to burn you." I was self sabotaging myself. I was torturing my soul. I know every target I take will leave a long lasting mark. But this was an unforgivable sin. This was a mistake I didn't allow myself to commit. This line that I crossed today was not meant for crossing. It was to stay that way for the rest of my life. For the first time in four years I broke my promise with myself. I went back.

"How could you go there?" I slapped my head. "Tell me bitch, how could you go there?" I continue slapping my face. Until the red color reappeared in them. Until the paleness was covered under it. Until my lower lip start to bleed.

"You didn't deserve anything good in life." I took the knife again, and it was about to leave me with another scar to hide,

"Thalia, will you stop?"

I turned to look at the origin of the voice. I couldn't see anyone. But this voice, it sounded so familiar. This was the voice that I could identify in the crowd of millions. This voice was sweeter than the falling of water and rustling of leaves, songs of mockingbirds and the first cry of new born. The knife fell from my hand. I gasped air.

"What was I about to do?"

My breathing was uneven, I looked around. My knees start to shake, and I gave up. I was tired of hearing this voice pulling me every time I'm ready to give in. Why does it continue to save me? I was too drained out to think for an appropriate response. I lay down on the floor. Cried myself to sleep. Soughting comfort from mother Earth.

"You really thought you had a chance with him? After everything you did? You really think that?" someone was screaming. "Look what you did. He'll never forgive you. The moment he is told, God! T he won't even spit on your face." 

I could feel the snow, " Please don't leave."

My eyes snapped open. The strong light coming from my bathroom's window was making it difficult to keep them open. Every muscle of my body was in terrible agony. I could hear those energetic voices down on the street. The happiness radiating from every individual. Doors opening and closing. I could smell the breakfast being made across the street. Nothing was happening according to a routine. Even those daily heard voices were not in their regular pattern. I stayed on the floor for some time. Than I remember it's weekend.