DAY BEFORE SENTENCE
"I can't believe I'm going to lose you tomorrow." I shift a little to tuck my head under Ethan's chin.
He stays silent, his chest rising and falling at a uniform pace.
"I don't want to loose you so soon." I swallow and try to pull the edges of my lips into a smile. Maybe if I smile, I can't cry.
He's quiet but I know he's listening.
"We still have so much to do. Can you imagine me walking down the aisle, or us having a family? We will never know how far our relationship can take us because you're leaving tomorrow."
Ethan starts caressing my back in circles, he knows I'm on tears again.
"I don't know how I can deal with this, how am I supposed to know what we are missing out on?" A tear slides down my cheek.
"I'm sorry Addy."
"It's not your fault. It's life, being a motherfucker and all." I swipe at my tears and heave a sigh.
"Maybe in our next life I won't make a mistake like that, and we can meet in some place better. Maybe we can fall in love again and I get to see you walk down the aisle and I can kiss my bride."
I close my eyes as he pulls me closer.
"In our next life we can start a family together. We will have a son and daughter. I wanna name my son Leo or something like that, I don't know." Ethan plants a kiss at the top of my head.
"I like that name." I manage, my voice is thick.
"You can name our daughter."
"Hailee." I say, I'm crying uncontrollably now, but I bite my lip to silence myself.
"That's a beautiful name." Ethan shifts so that I'm lying on my back and he's leaning over me, his elbows braced against either sides of my head.
"Don't cry." He murmurs, dipping his head to my cheeks and kissing along my tear tracks. "In another life, okay?" Ethan plants a quick kiss on my nose.
I hold out my shaking pinkie. "Promise?"
Ethan hooks his pinkie around mine in a promise."I promise."
Ethan looks into my eyes before darting his gaze to my lips. I lean foreward before he could kiss me and with a swift movement, push him down onto the bed. I climb on top, letting my hands slip under his white shirt. He holds his breath as I press my hands up against his chest.
"Addy-"
"Shhh," I cut him off. "Don't say anything."
I peel off the hoodie I'm wearing, It's his, he gave it to me on our first day of our first counseling session. I toss it over my shoulder onto the floor along with my shirt. I lift myself off him, unzipping my jeans and kicking them aside. Ethan loops his fingers under the sides of my panties and pulls them down.
He pushes his sweats down and I slip my hands under his boxers. I watch his eyes drift shut.
"Let's not rush this," Ethan stills his hand over mine.
I trace a finger along his jawline, and cup his face in my palms, just holding it in place as I lean in and kiss him.
"Addy, it's going to be okay," he says, tucking my hair behind my ear.
I could feel the tears coming back but I hold them In. I nod, trying to get myself together. I lift myself up a bit before slowly going down.
"Our last time," I murmur into his neck as I lay my head onto his shoulder as he slowly moves inside of me. I press small kisses on his neck before he moves his head. Ethan tilts my head up, capturing my lips.
"Don't keep reminding yourself that this will be our last time," he whispers.
He moves slowly inside of me, bracing his hands against my hipbone, steadying me as he speeds up. I gasp and bury my face in his neck, digging my nails into his bicep to keep my moans in.
"Addy, fuck." Ethan grunts, sliding his hands down to my butt. "I don't want this to be our last time." I whimper as his grip tightens and Ethan starts thrusting with urgency. "Don't forget me Addy," his hot breath brushes past my ear. Chills run down my spine.
"Don't forget any of this."
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