Unnamed Thoughts

4. 'Unexpected Friendship'

When Sonakshi's eyes fluttered open the next morning, she found herself awaking with a throbbing headache, curled in Dev's arms. Her forehead rested against his chest, her knees pressed lightly into his stomach. But she hadn't realized she was sleeping in his room, in his bed, in his t-shirt.

When her eyes opened completely she found her face looking at his bare chest. Her eyes closed again, last night came back in blurry memories. The vine, the kiss. She took a hand to her hair and rushed the thoughts trying to recollect. Then she turned and opened her eyes again. The room was dark because the curtains were still drawn, she realized she wasn't in her room now. She pressed her hand to her throat trying to sooth down the dry, burning throat.

Then her hand met the cotton of his shirt. As far as she remembered the night suit she had worn last night was a squared neck and slightly deep. Her hands trailed down her stomach to her thighs, when she realized she was dressed only in his shirt.

What had happened last night? She couldn't remember a single thing after he'd kissed her.

She turned again to look at Dev, when she moved, got closer to him, his arms went around her.

Then everything hit her. She'd...slept with him? No, that wasn't the right way to put it. It sounded so awful and so one-night-Standish to her.

He'd made love with her? No, that wasn't it either. She couldn't remembered a single detail. Then she wondered if he did?

She wanted to wake him up and ask him, question him. She'd meant it when she said about her alcohol tolerance level. He should have taken her seriously. But if something did happen, then what?

Nothing, she supposed. She was his wife, they were married. She shouldn't be ashamed. She would let him sleep, she decided slipping out of his bed. She grabbed her night suit that was on the floor and then left to take a shower.

She was smiling constantly. Would he tell her they were in love now and they could live their life like every other married couple. Plan to have kids?

She stepped out of the steamy shower and wrapped herself in a bathrobe. Then like every other morning, after getting dressed she went into the kitchen to make breakfast. She stopped at the door, running a hand thought her hair, when she saw Dev helping himself with a cup of coffee. He'd taken a shower and was dressed in a dark blue shirt paired with black trousers.

She smiled, but they both knew it was an uneasy one. She thought she saw embarrassment in his eyes for a second, and shame the next. But she brushed the thoughts off of her and walked into the kitchen.

Without a word she opened the fridge and took the eggs out, that's when he took her hand and turned her around. She looked at him nervously. He bit his lip.

"I'm sorry," he said in a low voice. "I'm so, so sorry for what happened last night. I don't know what got into me. I- I will never be able to forgive myself Sonakshi. Never." He sounded sorry and sad and ashamed. "Please forgive me."

She simply blinked. He was holding her hands tightly, nervously. She didn't know what to say. Say, I forgive you because I was my fault as much as it was yours? Or say that I don't think I have the right to forgive you because I don't remember what happened last night. How it happened, but it happened?

"Please say something Sonakshi. You can't be quiet now, or I'll never be able to look at myself again."

She cleared her throat. "It's not your fault Dev." She said in a low tone, holding his hands back now. 'I shouldn't have had the wine, I should have been able to stop you and myself." She sounded like that doll he's always seen in her. The perfect doll who wouldn't let anyone know she was hurt when she was.