Less Talk, More Stalk

Part 1: Stalker Mode

"OMG!  She's cheating her boyfriend!"
"Ha?  Sino? "
"Si Klarisse Dimagiba"
"Sino naman yan?"
"Siya yung girlfriend nung friend nung kapatid ng videographer na siya namang tatay ng cousin nung naka comment sa post ng LizQuen 2 hours ago"
"Ay grabe siya makastalk oh.  Layo na ng napuntahan. Isama mo naman ako friend"
"Ssh.  Tingnan mo. May dalawang account yung Clarisse. Sa main account niya,  "in a relationship" siya with Yosef Clarin.  Kaso yung isa "single".
"Hindi ba pwedeng pinagbawalan lang ng mga magulang kaya naka "single" ang status? "
"Hindiii.  Tingnan mo yung mga pics, iba yung kamay ang hinahawakan eh"
"Baka boyfriend lang talaga niya yan"
"Hindi eh,  iba yung kamay ng boyfriend niya.  Eto tingnan mo, yung other guy, may ugat2 yung kamay tsaka payat. Eto namang si Yosef,  medyo malaman tsaka walang ugat"
"Grabe,  pati yun naobserve mo? "
"Eh paano,  may matino bang syota na gumagawa ng second account na mag stastatus ng single?"
"Hindi nga natin alam.  Tsaka,  paano mo nalaman na may second account?"
"Ganun talaga yun. Tiningnan ko talaga kung walang poser.  Sikat at maganda kasi eh"
*Riiing* *Riiing*
"Oh. Si Papa mo na naman yan ano?"
"Sige Audrey, sagutin ko muna to"

"Hello?"
"Cindy! Saan ka na ba?  Diba I told you we will have dinner with the family? Andito na kami.  Asan kana?"
"On my way na pa"
"Did you spend all the time facing your phone again? "
"Definitely not"
"I already paid our drinks. Uwi nako ha"
"That's Audrey's voice, isn't it? "
"I'm really coming na talaga pa"
"Well hell, Bilisan mo na"
"Okay bye. I love you daddy.  Mwah"
. . . . .
"Sorry I'm late. Traffic eh"
"(everyone) Sa phone! "
"Ay grabe sila,  Happy Birthday Noona!  i got you a present! You're gonna like that"
"Mas gugustuhin ko pa yung mas maaga kang dumating apo.  O sya, let's eat! "
"So Cindy, kelan ka magtatrabaho?"
"Actually, I'm still waiting for my recommendation para sa Department of Tourism tita"
"Oh well I hope you got hired"
"Thanks tita"
"Akala ko mag ala kuya ka. Aren't you interested in business and cooking? "
"Hin-"
"I think she has plenty of time to think about it. I offered her nga na why don't she try to open a coffee shop if she doen't want gourmet restaurants"
"Oo naman couz. Your dad has many connections.  Lalago ka kung mag nenegosyo ka. Mas yayaman"
"*Chuckles* Hindi naman kami masyadong mayaman iha"
"Just sayin' tito"
"Anyways,  kamusta yung bar na inopen mo? "
"Doing great.  Alam ninyo, there's always a celebrity in my bar. Last night nga  nandoon si Derek Ramsay"
"And that's how successful my daughter is"
"Cindy,  you should come to check out the bar.  Para naman hindi ka magmukmok sa kaka cellphone mo. Para din magka lovelife ka"
"I don't think I'm kind of a party girl couz. The music there is too loud"
"Oh come on,  hindi ka ba nabobored sa kaka blog at stalk mo? "

*"Hindi naman couz. Kaw,  hindi ka ba napapagod sa kakainom mo? "
"Excuse me? What the hell did you say? "
"Ang sabi ko Caitlyn, ang OA mo. Sosyal ka nga pero lagi kang nakatambay sa malungkot mong buhay.  Kasama ng mga fake friends and make out boys"
"You did not say that bitch! "
"I already did! "
"aaaah! "*

"Cindy,  tinatanong ka ni Caitlyn"
"Ha?  Ah,  ok lang ako. Nabusog ba kayo? Cr muna ako"
"Paumanhin iha.  Baka napagod lang yun sa kakapuyat"
"It's ok tito,  excuse me. I also have to go to the bathroom"
.....
"Haay. Kung anu-ano na ang iniisip mo Cindy."
"Oh,  hi couz. Ganda pala ng outfit mo.  Bagay na bagay sa birthday ni lola. Akala ko nga your one of her friends. Old friends"
"What did I do this time Cait? "
"Wala naman,  I just need you to visit my club. Sa pagkakaalam ko your blog is really popular. I want you to feature my business."
"I feature tourist spots not intoxicated places"
"You know,  I can get really sick at you pretending to be naive. Well anyway,  I can always talk to tito. To someone who is more classy. See you couz"
"Hi couz,  Omg I'm so beautiful and sosyal.  I already forgot to reply on Derek Ramsay.  You know my friend. Ha'ha'ha"
"Excuse me,  I forgot my phone. Next time you make fun of me, see first if no one hears you"
"haaays. Susumbong na naman yun."
......
"Kelan ka pupunta? "
"Saan dad? "
"Sa club ni Caitlyn"
"Why are you insisting that on me?"
"Because she's your cousin"
"We both know she's not. Ni hindi nga niya ako tinitreat as family. Tsaka, Im not going anywhere near that place.  Hindi ako bagay doon and I'll just get bored"
"Well,  she's opening an invitation so she's making way to get close to you. I surely know that even you will not be there for blogging she'll definitely appreciate it. Besides, you'll have more readers on your blog since she'll have her grand opening next month.  So may time ka pa mag ayos"
"Since when ka naging supportive sa blogs ko? Okay,  I'll try to reconsider it. For now I'll have to finish something"
"Okay"
...
*Stalking Yosef Clarin* "Hala. Sumikat yung jowa ni cheater. Wow,  marunong sumayaw. Hala,  kumakanta rin. Nasa sa kanya na sana lahat eh. Yaman din oh. Kaso ang sakit siguro kapag malaman yang her girlfriend cheated on him. Haay. Ay sh*t. Na'add! What the. Sinong nag off nang wifi?! "

"Kakain na tayo"
"May tatapusin lang ako kuya"
"Cindy Cuangco, bumaba ka na jan!"
"Haay,  opo dad! naku.  Paano nato. Hmm. Marami naman din nag add doon eh. Baka hindi na ako napansin. Haay.  Think positive Cindy"
"Ateee! "
"Oo na,  oo na"
"Cindy, 3 hours kanang babad sa internet. Pwede bang tumulong ka rin dito sa kusina? "
"*3 hours na pala yun? Akala ko 30 mins lang* Uhm,  may mga tatapusin kasi akong errands dad. Tsaka hindi naman ako marunong magluto"
"Kung ganun,  samahan mo muna yung ate mo. Pumunta kayo sa restaurant. Nakulangan kasi sila ng tao doon"
"Bakit sasama pa ako eh hindi naman ako marunong"
"That's why. Magiging intern kana from now on."
"And that's your introduction? Wala bang formality dito? "
"Kahera ka lang muna Cin. Bukas ka pa daw ipropromote ni Daddy"
"Psh. Pwede bang mag skip? "
"Ayaw mo yun ate,  may salary ka na may allowance ka pa"
"Eh ikaw nalang kaya maging ako? "
"Cindy."
"Oh,  quiet na po"