Removed

09

 "Wake up!"

As soon as my eyes snap open, I bolt off the couch. Sunlight peeks through the blinds, attempting to lighten the dim room while Cody stands in front of me looking flustered. I tap my watch. 7:09 am.

"We have plenty of time to get home before we're caught," I sigh in relief.

"No, we don't," He exclaims, already opening the door.

"What's the rush?"

"Autumn," He breathes, whipping around to face me. "What starts at 8:00?"

"Um," I mutter, patting down my unruly hair. For a few seconds, I blankly stare at the golden clock above the door.

"Think about it. "

I jump, bolting for the door. "School!"

We both rush out after Cody resets the alarm. The morning breeze slaps us in the face as we dash through the fog. We sprint as fast as we can, our breaths rapid and hearts pounding. All the colors and sights blend into one.

When we're a few minutes from my house, we split ways. He turns down the opposite street, his footsteps echoing through the otherwise silent neighborhood. I stop and watch him run, bending over as I gasp for breath. It's difficult to breathe. Each breath is forced and labored thanks to the lovely uncured disease that is asthma.

Since my house isn't very far, I simply walk. My own feet pound against the cement. The rising sun is peaking through scattered clouds. Pinks and oranges dance in the sky, light reflecting off the clouds. It's a calm, tranquil morning. My nerves are no longer jagged and my feet don't move in a hurry. I soak in the serene sight, smiling to myself

Soon, my house looms over my tall frame. The sleek gray paint and white trim glare down at me. Thankfully, my parent's vehicle is absent. They're still at their friend's, meaning I won't get grounded. Sighing in relief yet again, I type in the code and swing open the door. Nothing's changed, the living room the same eggshell shade.

As soon as the door clicks shut, reality kicks in. I just broke into a house and slept there. I've had three hours of sleep. Now, I have to drag my tired self to school and pretend like everything's alright. Most importantly, I still have the scanning of the 'cookbook'.

*****

*****

Kaylee is no longer 'missing' or presumed dead. Harper clings to her like velcro, the girls and their group sauntering into the cafeteria. People stare, practically begging to be noticed by them. They're well known and seem the manifestation of 'perfect'. They're what the government yearns for all of us to be. Therefore, they are gems in their eyes.

Claire, a member of Kaylee's popular group, stops to talk to another friend. The blonde and her flame-haired buddy chat away as the hallway clears. Finally, they depart, leaving me alone with my locker. I slam it shut, ambling out of the school. My plan is to sit outside and write, free from distraction.

As I stroll to the side of the school, I suddenly freeze. A girl sits against the wall, her knees hugged to her chest. Her chestnut brown hair shields her face from my view. Something draws me closer and pulls me down next to her.

"Um," I fight for the right words. "Are you okay?"

The girl jumps, her disheveled hair bouncing to reveal chocolate eyes. Her seemingly sun-kissed skin compliments her glassy eyes and full lips. She's stunning from her athletic build to her prominent cheekbones. The girl in front of me is also Eva Olson, a girl from Kaylee's popular group.

"Go away, Autumn," she mumbles, blinking away tears. She actually bothered to remember my name.

Clutching my journal to my chest, I murmur, "I saw that someone was upset and wanted to help."

She sighs, failing to wipe away the smudges of her mascara. "You know why I envy you, Autumn?"

I blink, wondering if I heard her correctly. "Wait- what?"

"You just seem so free," She whispers, squeezing her eyes shut. "You don't conform. You don't have people pressuring you to do just that. Every time I see you, I wonder what it would be like to be like you."

"Sure," I scoff. "No one wants to be like me. I'm a loser. No one even likes me."

Her eyes pop open as she turns to face me. "What if I told you that I think you're pretty cool? You're kind and considerate. You're the only person who's cared enough to ask if I'm okay."

"But your friends-"

"Kaylee and Harper are so close. Claire and Fiona try to imitate them. Then, there's me. I'm just the fifth wheel in our group of five."

Fiona must be the name of Claire's twin, I realize.

"I have to be 'perfect'," Eva finishes, sniffling as she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.

"No, you don't," I sigh, pulling my own knees up to my chest. "I honestly thought all the populars were, well, the same. That everyone was perfectly content but me."

The brunette shakes her head, woefully staring into space. "Not everyone. I thought everyone but me was happy."

We both share a wistful laugh, then linger in silence. The breeze ruffles our hair as we stare at the fence bordering the property. It's thin, dark as night, and buzzing with electricity. The quaint coffee shop on the opposite side greatly contrasts the prison-like feel of school.

"Autumn," The popular suddenly whispers.

"Yeah," I mutter, turning to look at her. Gasping in shock, I reach for my journal. She must have grabbed it while I was distracted. "Hey, that's private!"

Eva closes it and tosses it into my lap. "Sorry," she sheepishly laughs. "I was just really intrigued by your poems. They're really good."

I stare at her in disbelief. "Something I wrote is good?"

"Really good," she corrects with a smile.

I'm honestly not sure what to make of this girl. A part of me yearns to believe her, to help her. It hopes that maybe I can finally gain a friend after two years. Yet, I'm not sure. Is there anyone left to trust in this world of conformity?

"Well," Eva sighs, "I should be getting back to my 'friends'," She completes the sentence with air quotes.

Shaking my head, I hoist myself to my feet. "Why? Why bother?"

"I can't just abandon them!"

"At least talk to them," I suggest, holding out my hand and helping her to her feet.

She shrugs, smoothing down her clothes and running her fingers through her hair. "First, I better get cleaned up. Then, well, I'm not sure. But thanks. Thanks for everything, Autumn."

I smile and nod. "Anytime. You're the first person to really notice me after two years." Does Cody really count? I mean, he noticed my Chip.

"I could say the same," she whispers, seeming to blink back tears. A deep pain radiates in her chocolate orbs before she turns away. Her wavy locks sway as she walks, bouncing with every step. From behind, Eva seems fine. She seems like a perfectly content individual. If we hadn't just had that discussion, I wouldn't know any better. I'd be clueless like the rest of our classmates.

I plop back onto the concrete and pull out my pen. There is so much to ponder, so much poetic inspiration bubbling inside me.