Definitely Dead

Chapter 4

Light rays peeked through my blinds revealing little particles of dust drifting about the room. I held my hand out in the light rays, as if I could touch it, thinking about everything that happened in the last 24 hours.

I now had no car. I couldn't work for several days. My chest felt like It had been hit with a car. Which, it kind of was. And apparently something is secretly wrong with me because I'm seeing dead people that others can't see. Yeah. Because that makes sense.

I couldn't help but wish that I actually died instead. Then I wouldn't have to deal with any of it. I wouldn't have to be a burden to my mom. I knew it was wrong to think like that, but I couldn't help it.

Then I heard Athena scratching on the door.

I dragged my self up to open the door and let her in. She was small, and covered in black fluffy fur. She closed her large green eyes and rubbed on my legs. I scooped her up and carried her back to my bed. She purred deeply and squirmed out from underneath my arms.

I regretted everything. How could I leave her?

I reached under my bed for my laptop. Determined to mindlessly scroll through the internet. To my dismay my father posted about the accident all over Facebook. Notifications pilled up over night with people commenting and saying that they were praying for me and hoping I was okay.

I quickly posted that I was fine and my phone was smashed in the accident, so if anyone tried to reach out to me that's why there wasn't a response.

I opened my email and started drafting to my boss why I wouldn't be in, and that I would bring a doctors note with me when I returned.

I'd miss the days in my wallet, but at least I wasn't forced to smile at hundreds of people anymore this weekend.

I clicked back on to Facebook. A twinge of annoyance filled me reading his post.
If he wanted to see how I was actually doing he should call my mom and try to talk to me. What good does posting on Facebook do? I couldn't help but feel like he just wanted attention. And then I felt guilty for thinking it. I should be grateful to all the people who were praying for me, but it all seemed so insincere.

I closed my laptop and let Athena lay on it. I stared up at my ceiling.

I was pulled back into the world by a small knock on my door, and my mom entering.

"How are you feeling honey? Did you get any sleep?" She walked over to me, a plate of toast in her hand.

"Yeah, actually. I slept fine." She placed the toast next to me and started getting out one of the pain pills on my bedside table. "Mom, do you remember our trip to Destin?"

"Of course, why?"

"I had a dream about it last night. I still had red hair in it."

"Well, I told you not to dye it brown. That's a nice dream though."

"Yeah. Thanks for the toast."

"You're welcome. Your dad called." I peeked up. "He said to tell you that he's glad your okay."

"Oh...okay."

"Daniel said it sounds cool. He wants to see the car. Do you feel up to going and trying to get your stuff from it?"

I thought of my brother hearing about my car flipping and thinking it was cool. I smiled a little.

"Yeah I should be fine. I'll take some of this medicine and get ready."

"Okay, I gotta go put my makeup on." My Mom patted my bed before leaving. Athena slinked away after her.

I decided to go makeup free and wear a simple zip up jacket and leggings. I slipped on some boots and tied my hair back. The pain in my chest increased with every action and I decided to take another pill for the extra strength. It was probably okay, right?

——————

When we got to the junk yard, my car stuck out like a sore thumb. Maybe because it was the only familiar thing in the lot, but it was now twisted and broken. The windshield was shattered, and the top of the Jeep was smashed lower than normal. The doors bent under the pressure and the front right tire was deflated and bent out of its normal position. We opened the doors and started collecting my things into plastic shopping bags.

I left the trash, wasn't really my problem anymore. I picked up a pair of shoes I threw in the back, and some art projects that had been in the back since I graduated from high school over a year ago. My camera was tossed around so hard that it fell out of its bag. I checked it thoroughly before collecting it all.

"I'm going to go let the workers know we're here, I haven't seen anyone yet." My Mom said, I nodded to her as she made her way to the building on the hill across the lot from us.

And then I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I froze, trying not to see her. I squeezed my eyes shut. Please don't be real. Please please please.

I opened them again and she was gone. I let out a shakey breath and turned around to make sure. I grabbed my bags and did a quick sweep of the car to make sure I had everything, then shut the doors and spun on my heels, ready to go back home.

Suddenly I was face to face with her yellowed eyes.

I shrieked, dropping my bags to the ground and backing into the car. She looked down at the bags and back up at me. Her eyes were so sad.

So sad that she almost wasn't petrifying.

Almost.

She looked at me and then at herself, and her dirt covered arms. She opened her mouth slightly like she was going to say something, but no noise came out. Her fingernails were covered in blood and broken. The tips of her fingers missing their top layers of skin.

"What do you want?" I asked, breathless. My face was twisted in fear but I felt an odd connection to her.

She kept trying to say things but she still had no voice. She looked around franticly like she didn't know where she was.

I watched my mom walking back towards me. I looked at the girl wide eyed. She held out her hands to me, small purple flowers and dirt cupped in her palms.

I held out my hands in response and she dropped the flowers in them. I expected them to disappear like she does, but they didn't. They dropped into my hand, cold and real. I looked back up at her and she was gone, my mother coming to take her place.

"Where did you find those?" She asked looking at the small purple flowers.

"Just on the ground." I said quickly and threw them down, brushing off the dirt. "I'm feeling really tired, can we head home?"

"Sure if you're ready."

"I am." I grabbed my bags quickly and took one more look at the flowers before hurrying away.