Ready or Not

Sick of It All

I awoke to the intoxicating smell of bacon crawling up my nostrils. I sat up, a smile creeping onto my face as I stretched. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and stood up. I combed my fingers through my messy hair as I walked into the kitchen. I leaned back against the fridge, watching Harry cook. "Good morning, Graecyn," Harry said, turning away from the food to hug me. As he held me, I breathed in his scent. It was a scent I would recognize anywhere. Armani Code, his signature scent. I remained in his arms until his grip on me loosened. Focusing his attention back on the stove, Harry said, "I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving. What are you fixing?" I asked.

"Pancakes, eggs, and bacon," he told me. I opened the fridge and grabbed the pitcher of pink lemonade. I poured a glass for both Harry and myself, then handed Harry's glass to him. "Thanks, love," he said, smiling. "I have some fun things planned for today," he told me.

"Like what?" I asked as Harry cut the stove off and began plating food.

"You'll see," he said, smiling.

After we ate, Harry took away the dishes to put in the dishwasher, and I went into the bedroom to get dressed. I wanted to look cute, but I also wanted my outfit to seem effortless. So, I settled on a pair of denim cut-offs, and  a hot pink bandeau under a white muscle tank. While I was pulling my hair into a high ponytail, I slipped my feet into a pair of hot pink flip-flops. Harry knocked on the door, and I said, "Yeah?"

"Are you almost done?" I quickly sprayed my Vera Wang perfume, then walked over to open the door. Harry's eyes lit up and a smile crossed his face as he eyed me up and down. Catching himself staring, his eyes snapped back up to mine. "I need to get dressed," he said. I walked past him to go into the living room, saying,

"The room's all yours." I plopped down on the sofa with my phone in my hands. I was afraid of getting online, with fear that there would be more horrid lies, but I was even more afraid that I was letting myself be controlled by insane fans. I wanted to show them that I wasn't threatened by them, and I had the perfect idea. I laughed at the thought, and Harry asked,

"What are you laughing at?" I jumped, considering I hadn't heard him exit the bedroom.

"Come here," I said, ignoring his question. I opened the camera on my cell phone as Harry sat beside me. "Kiss my cheek," I told him. Harry gave me a questioning look, but did as I said. I snapped a picture of the action, and said, "Perfect!"

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You'll see," I said, giving him the same lame reply that he had earlier given me. I posted the picture on Twitter with the caption: Aren't we just perfect together? Love him! @Harry_Styles.

Walking over to the doorway, Harry said, "The cab's here." When I stood up and turned around to leave, Harry was gone. I locked the door to the cabin, then hurried out to the cab. Harry was in the backseat, so I sat back with him. Harry must have told the driver where to go because he didn't ask us where we were headed, he just put the gear in drive and took off. "So, what was that?" he asked.

"Check Twitter," I said. So, he did. Harry busted out laughing when he saw the picture.

"Wow, these girls really hate you," he said. Wait. I snatched his phone from his hands and looked for comments. There was really nothing new, just the same hatred I had seen on Twitter the day before. Fans were calling me a filthy whore, an ugly slut, and basically anything they could think of to tear me down. I laughed, but inside, I was hurting. I didn't care how much I told myself it didn't matter because deep down, I knew it did. I was certain of one thing though - those completely crazy fans weren't going to ruin my sham of a marriage with Harry. I was going to try to be happy with him for as long as I could. Keyword; try.

I handed Harry's phone back to him, and after he asked, "Are you okay?" and I replied,

"Yeah," we didn't speak to each other the rest of the ride. I watched the sights we passed, waiting for us to stop for good. We eventually did, at the zoo. It was surprisingly close to our cabin. I grinned, pushing the thoughts of Twitter to the back of my mind.

"I bet you thought I forgot that you love the zoo," Harry said.

"I did, actually." Harry ran to my side of the cab and held the door open for me, then paid the cabby.

Walking through the zoo, all of the girls we passed screamed over Harry, swarming to his side for pictures and autographs. I was pushed to the side, watching as Harry signed various items and took photos with everyone. Occasionally, one of the tots would glance my way with a dirty look. I ignored it as best as I could, but it eventually got to me. I crossed my arms over my chest, blinking back tears.

Once everyone had a turn with Harry, they slowly went back to whatever they were doing. When Harry came back to me, he didn't look happy. What did he look so down for? I mean, people love him and want to be next to him - that's what a fan is. Someone who is highly devoted. I guess I'm just another fan. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be," I smiled, but it was disingenuous. Harry draped his arm over my shoulders and kissed my temple. No matter how affectionate he was, it didn't take my mind off of the pain. Still, I tried to enjoy my day. After all, Harry had remembered my love for the zoo. That has to count for something. 

When we left the zoo, we went to Duke's for lunch. We didn't have to wait for table, which wasn't anything new for Harry. It was totally new for me. We were sat at a patio table, and soon after that, a young brunette approached our table. "Welcome to Duke's, I'm Leilani, and I'll be your waitress this afternoon!" she said, way too chipper for my liking. "Can I start you off with some drinks and an appetizer?"

"I'll have a coconut mojito," I said, smiling at Harry. I was scared that Leilani was going to ask for some kind of identification, but thankfully, she didn't.

"I'll just have a root beer," Harry said.

"Great! I'll be right back with your drinks," she said. When she left, Harry looked at me weirdly.

"What?" I asked.

"A coconut mojito? Since when do you drink alcohol?" he asked.

"Since a long time ago," I said.

"I didn't know that."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," I said quietly, but when sadness crossed his face, I knew he had heard.

Harry and I didn't talk much as we ate, or even as we rode in the cab to the aquarium. The same thing that happened at the zoo happened at the aquarium. Screaming fans wanting something from Harry. It was getting on my nerves, and I was about to tell Harry I wanted out of the marriage. Then he smiled at me, and everything was somehow better.