Camp Camp Oneshots!

[PLATONIC SPACE KID & NEIL] What if?

(This is based off of an idea I had while talking about deep shit with my boyfriend. Also this is practically all dialogue)

"Hey Neil?"

"Yeah?"

"What if all humans came from Mars? The oldest meteor to hit Earth was from Mars and that was before humans."

"Well, Space Kid, theoretically, that's impossible unless we're taking evolution here. There's not enough oxygen on Mars—if any— to sustain human life. Plus there's no vegetation and it would be too cold."

"Well, yeah I mean evolution. Those little bacteria things—"

"—Microorganisms?"

"—Yes, thanks Neil, Micro-organic-sims we're found on Mars, so what if they came with that meteor and became humans through evolution?"

"Microorganisms. And I guess that's plausible."

"What about Dinosaurs?"

"What if they didn't really go extinct? What if they just evolved?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Chickens, man. Saw a bunch eat a live rat one time. They're still dinosaurs and they haven't forgotten it. They're waiting until they evolve again to become huge. Ghh.."

"What if it was a sickness? They all caught it and died."

"Sounds kind of reasonable. Opinion on how life started?"

"Probably in water. Because life just kind of appears there."

"Yeah, I can agree with that. 40 to 212 degrees, right? Fahrenheit if I remember correctly."

"It's like mold. It just appears."

"Well, mold transfers through spores, but yeah. Basically."

"Favorite bug? I like caterpillars."

"Danaus plexippus"

"Danana-huh??"

"Danaus plexippus? Monarch Butterflies. But not really, that's just the first thing that came to mind."

"What if there was life on other planets?"

"There is life on other planets, Space Kid. Microorganisms."

"What if they looked like us though?"

"Well that would be impossible. Unless it were an exact replica of our earth atmospherically, in orbit around its star, and temperature wise. They'd have to look different for the different atmospheres and shit."

"Do you think trees can feel pain?"

"Probably not, but certain plants can react to stimuli. Take Venus fly traps for example. They close over prey when it—"

"Neil, Space Kid, It is 2 IN THE FUCKING MORNING!! GO. TO. SLEEP."