'To whom it may concern,
Yesterday was going to be the last day you would see me. I failed as usual, because that's what I'm good at. Still, don't let mom check my sock drawer.
P.S, IM GAY.'
I scribble another note, all the while looking at my goldfish. I'm going to miss him. I grab the rope again and ninja walk through the house to the bathroom. Once there I spill soap all over the bottom of the bathtub. I tie the noose to the shower rod and slip it over my head again. I step into the bathtub and slide around until I feel myself falling. I fall and smack my head on the corner of the sink, and I get another bash to the head from the curtain rod that couldn't hold my weight. Great. I guess I'll try again tomorrow.
