The pain inside me

Starting a New Chapter

My mind was racing with a million thoughts about what could go wrong. Finding out that my dad could be happy with another woman that ain't my mom got me thinking all kind of different scenarios of what could possibly go wrong. But I need to past through all the negative thoughts after all he deserves to be happy.

But then again my mind keeps reminding me....

"Your not good enough, not even your own mom wanted to stay with you."

Yes I am. I tried to remind myself, while looking at my reflection. I'm not letting this get to me most importantly I know my dad wouldn't do that to us. So I need to put myself together and be happy for him!

Today is all about him and he's girlfriend, and to be honest a side from all my insecurity I'm very happy for them. My dad deserves to move on and find someone he can connect with. When him and my mom separated was a living hell for all of us, especially him I knew he tried to be strong around us but I could see the hurt in he's eyes the sadness that consume him day and night. Now he seems happier and free.

Gabby are you ready we are about to leave!

*sighs "Nothing is going to go wrong just take deep breaths." I keep repeating to myself until I feel like I believe it. 

GABY, Avanza coño!

Voy ahora! Dios Mio. (I'm going! Oh my God)

*************At the Dinner******************

Coming to the restaurant had me hyperventilating. "I just need to breath in and out focus Gaby focus."  I tried calming myself down until the car came into a complete stop.

We were in a beautiful  very elegant and expensive looking. My dad had an agreement to met her at the restaurant so we would not feel uncomfortable in the car ride plus that would make my anxiety go worse that it is.

Please be on your best behavior guys I really like her and I don't want nothing to go wrong. My dad says sheepishly.

No te apures pá todo saldra bien!. I said reassuring my dad that everything will be alright.

That's when I see this beautiful woman she had to be my dad high or a little taller 5'6 with her medium shot vivid red hair beautiful tan skin and the most enchanting golden brown eyes. Now I know what got my dad hooked she is gorgeous.

Noah, Gaby I will like you to meet Angela. My dad said with a slight smile on he's face and he's eyes fixed on her.

The way he looks at her makes me smile. My dad deserves this, someone who will love him and genuinely want him.

It's a placer to meet you! Noah says with a nod.

We heard so much about you. I said a little to excited but I was full of joy and happiness for him and I couldn't hid it.

Well I hope that good thing, y tu papá me a hablado mucho de ustedes tambíen. Ya estaba loca por conocerlos.  She said with a beautiful smile that gave me a sense of warmth.

Everything was going well, I learn that she has 4 children of what it consist of 3 girls and one boy he being the youngest with 18 years of age and the girls were 24, 26 and 30. She is a nurse and she's only 2 years younger than my dad.

She is a family person and likes to put her kids first, and that makes me wonder how would it be like to have a mom like that. What it would fill like to have someone expect the best in you and you looked up to. But I guess I would never know.

So Gabriella I was talking to your dad and we want you to finish school. I understand if you don't want to go back to high school you have missed a lot so we cane to the terms of getting your GED. Your education is in important y no me gustaria que sieguieras perdiendo la oportunidad de tener un futuro por cuenta de tus padres. I'm sorry Noè but you needed to try let her in school so was a bad choice on you too.

Everything she said hit me hard. And I started question why a stranger wants to help me or thinks about my future. Like why MOTHER can't be like her ?

"No why wonder dad felt in love with her" I thought to myself.

I think that's a great idea I would loved to get my diploma and I really want to go to college some day. I respond giving her a smile.

Well is settled then I will help you look for the best place to get one and to go to a study group or if you like to do it at home. We will find options for you. She says a little more excited than me and I can't seem to stop smiling.

Ok! I respond looking at my dad making sure he knows how happy I am for him for finding such a wonderful person. I just hope she doesn't turns out to be worse than my mom.

But I can only hope.