I love you

3

"Papa why isn't Granny waking up?" I ask Papa as his eyes are slowly tearing up.

"Papa, why are you crying?" I touch his arm and he bends down to me.

"Darling" He says searching his eyes through mine as if trying to find the correct words, but instead his eyes turn red and he hugs me. I embrace him as if it is our last moment together. Strangely I cry too trying to understand why Granny isn't waking up.

"Are you crying because of Granny?" I whisper. I can feel him nodding on my shoulder meaning yes. He is crying because of Granny, but she's just sleeping.

"Papa, don't worry everyone will wake up from their sleep and hug you like I am now" I look at him and smile. He smiles back and that's all I needed, to see my Papa smile.

"What happened?!" I hear Mama shout through my dream. I meekly open my eyes and see that Allie is on the floor by me holding my hand, she has a Disney jumper on covering the cuts; that was the jumper when it was Papa's birthday six years ago, the day which was paradise but hell at the same time.

"What happened?!" I hear Mama shout again and lifts my face up. "Who done this to you?"

I open my mouth but no words come out. I look into Mama's worried eyes, I want to tell her but I can't. She glances towards Allie's face and she doesn't say a word either. I glance towards her and see that her blue eyes have returned.

"Allie?" I whisper. She looks at me and hugs me; I moan through the pain as she squeezes my cheek.

"I'm sorry." She whispers before Mama lifts her up and takes her downstairs to the kitchen.

I look in the mirror and observe how I stand up. First my legs shifting up trying to carry my weight, then my stomach, I moan in pain and finally stand up. My right eye fully swollen now making my sight barely visible. I look down at my stomach and lift my shirt up revealing a bruise above my belly button which has splatters of purple and pink and some blue. I turn around and look at my back and the see the splatters all over it.

Allie had done this. No, not Allie but someone else inside of her telling her to do this, forcing her to cut. I take small steps out from Allie's room feeling the gravity pulling me back to the earth. I take the stairs down as I look at the photographs on the wall, our family. Our happy family. As I enter the kitchen the smell of toast and eggs fills my nose, Papa's favourite. Mama is eating as well as Allie and there are two more plates, one for me and one for Papa. We do this every day for him, he is always welcome here. I sit beside the empty seat, well Mama thinks it's empty yet I know that Papa is sitting there watching us, smiling.

* * *

"Can you leave us for a while Amber?" Mama says as she gestures towards Allie.

"Sure." I reply simply. Instead of waiting in my room or in Allie's room I head towards the front door and leave them alone.

I am greeted by the chilly autumn wind. The leaves on the trees transforming from a Summery green into a crimson orange symbolising the change of seasons. It's stunning. The wind travels around the leaves, above them, below them as if the wind had an obstacle course. Then it trips causing a leaf to calmly fall down. That's how I felt, the moment Allie pushed me to the floor I felt like that leaf; calmly dropping to the floor with feeling nothing. I sit on an old bench and continue observing the nature around me, trying to forget what happened a few hours ago. From time to time I do see something or someone walking through the orange forest however it's just an illusion, like it always is.

After staring in to the orange forest for two hours it's time to go home. As I stand up I feel the bruises growing larger, causing me to be in more pain. I limp slowly back to home and stand in front of the door.

"Papa I want to try!" I shout to Papa to give me the keys.

"But you are too short." He says while patting my head.

"But Papa." I moan and I look into him and make pout. He chuckles and gives me the keys.

"Okay darling but remember turn-"

"Nope!" I shout at him so he doesn't tell me the secret of unlocking the door. I push the key in and it slowly goes in the hole. I grin widely and look at Papa. He smiles and tells me to carry on. I turn the key left and it twists and then I push the door but it's still closed.

"Papa the key is broken." I moan but Papa laughs. He bends down to me and says "I wouldn't give you a broken key, so my darling try again and remember, Papa believes in you"

"Always?"

"Always. Now try again." He points at the door and if the key can't turn left then it must turn the other way. So I twist it the other way and it doesn't move, I pull the door and the key twists to the end. I then open the door with the smell of pumpkin pie filling my chest.

"Papa I did it! I did it!" I shout while Papa lifts me up and smiles widely.

"My darling did it!" He shouts. "You see, you can do anything if you believe."

"Will you always believe in me?" I ask.

"Always."

Always. Papa always believed in me no matter what I did I knew he was by me ready to hug me if I failed or succeeded.

I put the key inside the door and twist it as I have learnt years ago, but without the pumpkin pie smell filling my chest but shouts. I silently close the door and listen to Allie and Mama.

"Why do you do this to yourself?!" Mama shouts. "Why?! After all these years you didn't tell me about this and suddenly you punch your sister!-"

Mama continues shouting as I look at Allie, her gaze low and her voice silent. She looks around and her eyes meet mine. She just looks at me trying to say something through her eyes but I don't understand.

I meekly escape the room and go to my room. I see the picture from Disneyland. I take it in my hands and sit on my bed. I touch Papa's face and start talking out loud to him. I talk about Allie and Mama then I mention school and lastly the nature and how it has changed from green to orange.

"Papa-" I continue. "Papa I am so scared. I just wish that you were here by me and tell me that you believe in me."

"Papa believes in you."