The One I Let Go

Is She Happy?

December 2012
Southside Jamaica Queens

The two occupants of the small bed huddled close together in a desperate attempt to stay warm, in the brutal cold of their small one bedroom apartment. It was the middle of December and the New York winter had been unforgiving, like many things in the big city. Money had been tight for some time now, so they couldn't afford a place that actually cared to attempt to fix the no heat problem in the building. But, they made do as best as they could. 

"Come closer baby it's fucking freezing." The taller woman of the two said, pulling the other occupant of the bed closer. They were cuddled under a thick blanket and still, that wasn't enough to protect them from the elements.

"Rob if I get any closer, I'll literally be on top of you." She chuckles, still moving closer regardless. "It's alright boo, we've had worse." and that was definitely the truth. Southside Jamaica was as unforgiving if not worse than any winter they had ever faced. While they both wished it weren't true, it was. But, being the hustler she was Robyn already had a plan to move them and their families out of the situation. In fact, she had something cooking for weeks now, she had just been thinking of ways to bring it up to her girlfriend. Tonight was a better night than ever, Nicki was in what seemed to be a good mood, and Robyn had made sure to remove all throwable items out of the girls' reach.

"Nick?" Robyn calls casually pulling the shorter woman even closer.

"Hmm, babe?" Nicki asks snuggling even deeper into Robyn's shoulder. 

"I have to tell you something." Nicki laughs unexpectedly, "If you're cheating on me, tell me when I have enough energy to choke the shit out of you, mmkay?" 

Robyn chuckles, "babe, be serious I am definitely not cheatin' on yo crazy ass."

"I know, what's up?" Nicki asks removing her head from Rob's shoulders blades to get a good look at her.

"You know how I've been dealing for Jay?" Nicki rolls her eyes and nods, because how could she forget? Every day Robyn was out on the streets selling and doing god knows what else for that man. She did not approve at all. Robyn knew, but she kisses away the crease in Nicki's forehead for the sake of avoiding that argument tonight.

"Well he's been talking about moving me up to a better position for months now and he finally making good on some promises. Which could mean a hell of a lot more money coming in from now on. We could finally get outta here Nick." This causes Nicki to sit up and look at Robyn.

"Are you serious? like no fooling?" Robyn nods enjoying the pure joy on her girls face.

"That's amazing oh my god Rob.." she surges forward and captures Robyn's lips in a heated kiss. Of course, she was happy regardless of how she felt about the job, they needed money. As long as Rob was safe that's all that mattered.

 Robyn kisses back for a few seconds and then gently pulls away, "Just wait a sec baby, that's not all.." Nicki gets a good look at her girlfriend's face, even in the dim lighting of their bedroom, she could read her girl like a book. Judging by the look on her face, Nicki knows whatever is coming next, she's not going to like.

"The thing is, the job isn't in New York. I have to leave. Jay knows a guy, that could help me get started and maybe even take over for him, once I learn about the business more."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Nicki asks, the smile fading from her face into a look of confusion. slowly, she begins to slide away from the woman. Robyn reaches out and grabs her arm and gently tries to pull her back in.