Ever so patiently

Rain rain

Journal Entry #69
" it seems I have made a mistake. I was so blinded by the thought of love that I ruined a comradeship. There is no one here to talk to about it, besides Mattie. But he doesn't understand, how could he? I mean I'm pretty sure the dude doesn't even know the definition of love. Why am I like this? And god damnit I'll never finish the Great Gatsby, I swear it!"

America
I tugged him through the obnoxiously large crowd and into the entryway of the White House. Hurriedly I grab mine and England's' coat before once again rushing out the door. My car was parked farther down so I flung his coat around him as we made our way through the snow filled sky. Once inside our breath still made itself apparent with flashes of moisture in the dense cold air.
"Where should we go?" I said more to myself than to England but still he replied.
"Take me to the ocean." He stated simply. I didn't mind it was only 25 miles which is only 15 minutes without traffic. It was 10 o'clock at night so I doubt anyone would be out in a car.
   The ride was kind of awkward but it was peaceful. The tension wasn't stressful it was merely tension. When we got there near the dock the only light illuminating our way was one simple streetlight and the light of a small building right off the pier. As we got out I turn on the radio to a station that play a lot of Frank Sinatra. England, who was already out and in front of me, whipped around slowly.
"You really do love that man?" He gave half a smiled making me bare my pearly whites.
"Yea I really do." He turned around and opened his palm to me. I took it with pleasure and we started dancing.
"Why didn't we just stay if this is what you wanted to do?" He questioned.
"The music was dragging, and I don't dance in front of others well."
"But you'll sing and play piano?"  His grip around my neck tightened as we spun. I first learned to dance from Artie, I'd stand on his feet and we'd dance. Even if there wasn't music. Past tension between us will alway be there but that doesn't mean that every memory from the past was wicked.
"It's Christmas Eve folks, the war has ceased. A truce just as the one in WWI! It's getting worse and worse but for the folks back home and to the men somewhere out there here's some more Sinatra for you!" The radio rang out on that overly hyper voice, even at 11 p.m., even at war, that voice never changed. The pleasant slow jazz strummed on through the damp snowy air.
"Alfred."
"yes Artie?"
"Are you going to tell me the truth? About those bandages?"
"I told you I fell!"
"No you didn't I know you, what did you do?"

" News from overseas about the defeat in Wake. 1,000 Americans took down 3/4 of Japanese troops but retreated after sudden defeat and loss of men, this would be the first engagement for the US during this war."
Now I know I said I liked the person on the radio but now, wasn't the time.
"Did I just here that correctly?"
"Hear what?" He abruptly let go of my hand and neck.
"You went to Wake?!"
"No"
"Alfred! You could have been taken by Japan! Did you even know how many soldiers were there! You took only 1,000 men? You are lucky to have any survivors."
That comment stung a little.
" I understand that Arthur but one of Japan's largest naval bases is out on that island and it's way too close to Hawaii. I had to do something! I wasn't going to let them bomb again."
" Yes Alfred, and when Germany bombed me I wanted so bad to attack but I waited. Waited for allies. I can't bare to see you throw yourself and your men into death like that. I understand it makes you feel weak and I know you would aid someone else in the time of need so don't expect them not to do the same thing. I don't know if we'd make it without you." He proceeded to lay his head on my shoulder temping me to do the same on his head.
" thanks English, I know."
" don't think this means I'm not pissed." I wanted to make a joke about not being my dad but that hit a hard spot in me, I couldn't imagine how Artie would have felt.
" They're a rotten crowd, you're worth more than them all."
"Did you just reference the Great Gatsby?" He lifted his head a couple inches from mine.
"What if I did?" Smiling it almost seemed like the right time so I leaned in and kissed him. A tingle was brought to my lips, like a thousand tiny lightning strikes were hitting them. That split second he kissed back felt like a year but just as the tide comes in and the rain started to poor, he broke away.
" I can't." He said backing away his arm shielding his mouth.
"Arthur I-"
"No!"
"Look Alfred, it was a mistake. We are both national figures and if someone was to find out we would both be screwed to no extent. I can't deny that I liked it but no. No Alfred." He backed away.
"Arthur wait!"
"NO! Get it through your thick skull, we are allies for Christ sakes! Not bloody fairies!" The word stunk a bit but there wasn't much I could do. The once beautiful snow was quickly turning to rain, like the course of my night.
" At least let me take you back."
"No"
"Arthur."
"I'll walk to a station on my own!"
He began to walk away, leaving me confused and stranded.
"Alfred!" He called
"Gatsby dies."
"What?"
" Gatsby dies! He is betrayed by love! Don't let the same happen to you." He said before his figure became a blurb in the rain and I became a dignified wreck.