When I Come Around

Chapter 7

I let out a deep breath as I sat against the bathroom wall. Yet another day, and I was sick and nauseous.

"You okay?" Eleanor asked, peeking her head into the bathroom. I nodded softly, flushing the toilet.

"I just don't feel really good," I said, washing my hands and face.

"You should see a doctor, this has been happening every day this week," Eleanor told me, looking towards me in the mirror.

"I'll go today, okay?" I said finally. Eleanor has been begging me to go to a doctor, but I didn't want to. I would rather just ride it out than have to take terrible-tasting medications. But after a week of vomiting and fatigue, I wanted some answers.

I arrived at the doctor's office later that day, and the nurse led me back to a small room. After telling her my symptoms, I noticed a change in the young nurse's attitude.

"When was your last period?" She asked.

"I haven't had it yet, so last month," I said, not thinking much about it.

"I'm going to need you to take a pregnancy test, you are showing some early symptoms," the nurse said.

"Pregnancy test? I can't be pregnant," I said, shaking my head slightly. I was in no place to have a baby. I was only twenty years old, in the middle of college. How could I support myself and a baby?

"Let's just take the test first, we have some options for you if you happen to be pregnant," the nurse said reassuringly, and I nodded.

----

I sat in the room nervously, biting my lip. I was anxious for the results from the test. Eleanor and I live in a two-bedroom apartment, how will we ever have enough room for a baby? Aside from that, how will I ever find the money and time to support a baby? Sometimes I find myself at a loss of money, so how could I pay for myself and a baby? My thoughts were interrupted when the nurse came in with the results. I looked towards her nervously.

"It came back positive," she said, "you are pregnant." It felt like bricks were slowly being placed upon my shoulders. I stared at the ground, trying to figure out my future.

"I'm not ready for a baby," I said, glancing up to her.

"Well, you can give it up for adoption," the nurse suggested. As I thought this over, I felt like I couldn't go through with it. How could I give up my own baby? I brought this baby into this world, so it was my responsibility. I shook my head slowly, glancing towards her. "I was in your situation with my first child, and now he is graduating from high school next month. It will be hard, but it will pay off in the end, I promise," the nurse said with a smile. I felt slightly reassured, nodding with a weak smile. She have me a list of some agencies that can help, and then I left.

I went to my apartment, sitting down. I texted Andrew to come over, knowing I had to tell him as soon as possible. Once he arrived at my apartment, he sat down across from me.

"I have to talk to you about something, something important," I started, and I could tell he wasn't sure what was wrong. "I went to the doctor's today, and they said that I am pregnant," I said quickly.

"You are pregnant?" He repeated, looking towards me. I nodded slowly. "How did this happen?" He asked angrily, standing up.

"The condom must have broken," I said, looking up towards him. His face was red, pacing our small living room.

"Fuck, I can't raise a baby," he said, running his hands through his hair.

"Andy, this is both of our faults. We don't really have a choice," I said.

"No, you don't have a choice, you are the mother. I have a choice, and I'm not sticking around to watch this," he said harshly. I was taken aback, looking towards him.

"It is your baby, too!" I said, watching him. He went to the door, opening it quickly.

"I'm breaking up with you, I don't want to raise this baby," he said before he closed the door. As I sat in my lonely apartment, I couldn't believe what had happened in this day. I'm pregnant. My boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend, doesn't want the baby. I didn't realise I was crying until the warm tears dropped onto my hands. I sobbed on the couch, my head in my hands. I felt like my whole life was crumbling around me, and I was completely alone.