Form: A History

Chapter 3

Matthew never really could get over his brother's leaving. It was unfair! Luke had a great career coming for him in metalworking and some science! But now...
It just wasn't the government's right to simply take someone from the family away for the army. It... it couldn't be...
Could it?

Matthew spent most of his day unfocused in school, trying to concentrate on the matter. He knew he would likely never see his brother again, but it was odd because... well he didn't feel too bad about that. Matthew knew with all his heart he should be practically weeping in sorrow on the floor or something, as characters in Matthew's books would, but Matthew wasn't sure if he felt really anything towards the matter. He could only really guarantee himself that Luke was gone now. Luke wouldn't be coming back for a long time, and definitely not healthy or without broken limbs.
But, Matthew accepted this. He knew he shouldn't be...
But he accepted this fact as if it was just some random knowledge he learned in school. It wasn't right, was it? To have something, or someone, taken away from you without your permission, broken, then returned? No, you don't do that. But...
It happened.

Ugh, stupid Matthew. How could he ever do anything about this? He can't can he? So, why ponder and regret that of which you can not fix, nor could you have fixed.
   Matthew couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps he could've fixed it. His walk home from school just left him contemplating that. It was his last year of college, his mother didn't want him living in a dormitory with someone who could grow to be his enemy or something. Matthew honestly didn't see the problem with it, it might help him grow in maturity towards problems he might encounter within the future.
But, then again. Who was he to argue with his mother?

   Matthew did start to wonder though... his life must be so insignificant to the world. Having a brother taken from you might be a fly buzzing in your ear compared to the struggles someone else might be facing.

   Matthew opened the porch door, stepping into the house.

   Why him, though? Why does the only one he could ever talk to openly and have fun with removed from his life just by the power given to someone to shrug and take them away?

   He stepped up the stairs, setting his books on the hallway desk.

   Was it meant to be? Was his life doomed this way?

   Matthew slid his backpack off him, staring out the window over the town.

   Sure, Matthew has totally insignificant problems, but that doesn't mean that he can't feel this way... right? Does it mean that he couldn't weep over his loss and tell himself it was the worst possible thing that could have happened? Because it wasn't. His brother could have been taken, and then have us all informed he was to be put on the front lines without proper training. That would've been worse.

   Matthew closed the curtains, falling down on his mattress- the pillows bouncing in the air for a second before falling back onto the bed.

   If only he wasn't him. If only he could escape from this world... if he didn't have to endure the struggle of his life...
   It's so insignificant... no one would miss him. His brother is gone... what real hook did he have onto this world? He hadn't even graduated college. No one would care. There's hardly any students at the school in the first place, he had no friends there. His mother always favored her firstborn. Matthew doubted his mother would care if he was gone, too. She always had this mysterious vibe... like she was always hiding something. She could go do whatever she wished. Matthew just had to forget his existence...

   Forget himself.

   Forget everything and everyone he thought he needed to live.

   And focus on what he'd rather be.
   Perhaps a dragon?
   They soar freely through the world... no chains or binds to Ninjago. Free to do whatever they wished. He forgot everything he knew. He focused on the dragon... and how it had a life far finer than his...

   He'd much rather be the dragon. Protecting his land, hunting for food. No one on their knees begging for food when he walked around. No responsibilities or family...

   No struggle.

   The dragon... just be the dragon.

   And Matthew opened his eyes.

   He was still himself.
   Still just a lonely soul in a much more significant world.
   Still Matthew.